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Can a mini-van be sexy?

Can a minivan be made sexy?

That’s the weighty question Tom and Ray got this week from Craig in San Pedro. He’s single, living the life in sunny Southern California – except, that is, for one thing. His minivan. It’s great for his job as a painter – but not exactly lighting up his love life.

How does he make it more attractive to women?

We’re looking for your opinions – and we’d especially like to hear from the women out there. Can anything be done to a minivan to move the driver off the “neutered” list? Or should Craig dump it, and get something where he can forget about cupholders and instead think more about having the top down?

Let us know what you think!

Simple… paint dollar bills all over it! Any denomination will do as long as the car is completely covered with them.

Laura in Tennessee

Absolutely. Since you’re a painter, you could easily paint the van a rich chocolatey-brown, then include a swirly scripted “Choco-Love, Inc.” on the side (don’t forget to include your phone number). Then, buy some chocolate scented air freshener (the squirtable kind) and rig it so it squirts out the window (or through your fresh air intake, if you can figure out how to do it, Click and Clack) whenever you see an attractive woman walk/drive near you. Ladies love chocolate!

Craig should get the cutest mid to large sized dog he can find and ride around with the dog’s head out the window, maybe with a cute bandana or some other accessory. Instant chick magnet!

If you fill it with puppies, 99% of women walking by will HAVE to stop. Since that’s not practical for a work vehicle (unless you work for the pound–also not sexy), just don’t have it look institutional. For starters, NOT plain white. I’d put a beautiful mural or tromp l’oeil across the sides. the more interesting it is, the smarter the woman you’ll attract.

Ugh. I like chocolate, but I wouldn’t go anywhere NEAR anything marked “Choco-Love.”

Craig should get a personalized license plate that reads “VAN GOGH.” (or VAN GO) He should also paint a Van Gogh-style mural on each side of the mini-van, along with the name, phone number, and website address for his mural painting business. Not only is it good advertising for the business, it will turn heads, and everyone will understand the need to own a mini-van to haul his painting stuff around in.

Thats easy! Put a couple of dogs in it(puppys will work REALLY well) and drive around with the windows open. If that doesnt work,get a full size,cardboard cutout of the lead werewolve character from “True Blood” and put that in the passenger seat,again,keep the windows down.
I know I would look twice! Jayme

Women are attracted to creativity, wit, and intelligence - not just muscle cars! Craig has the perfect large canvas - his minivan - where he can flaunt his individuality.

If he has his own business he can paint the minivan uniquely and advertise at the same time. Or he can go strictly artsy - a giant mural, the Mona Lisa, a self portrait… options are limitless.

If he’s looking for a woman with a sense of humor, he can go the quirky route and paint the van to look like something else - like a giant block of cheese! That would sure be a conversation starter.

Ultimately, it sounds like he’s practical, and that says a lot to a woman in the long run.

Good luck Craig!


Craig, you need to take a lesson from motocross and wakeboarding graphics. Have you seen the graphics with paint splatters, checkerboard patterns, zigzag patterns, and cool lettering? Kind of like the ultra hip caps you would find at a surf shop or motorcross shop? Check out some advertising vans and cars for those sports, or magazine ads with cool graphics. Then cover the back half of your van, with the graphics angled toward the front tires. Don’t go too creepy or too girly. Look at ads in hip male sports magazines. Good luck!

My wife says “Add big tires and wide rims!” =8-)

Add a rack and surfboard (or paint-splattered ladder).

Would the puppies really help attract anyone over the age of 10?

Steampunk it.

Some women don’t care what kind of car a guy drives… other things are way more important. I’m sure you have a lot more going for you than the fact you drive a mini-van. Maybe you’re looking for the wrong kind of woman. Just an thought from a female artist.

A mini van cannot be sexy. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved upon. Keep hiking gear and outdoorsy things in the back at all times to make it a little more masculine. And keep in mind not all women care about the kind of car a guy drives or how much money he makes. If he is a great guy, he can pay his own bills, and has an iota of maturity, that’s all that matters.

I have two ideas.
1-- I just spent 2 weeks rambling from one California beach to another with my two dogs. I encountered many interesting and unusual vehicles/people along the way. I don’t know if every other woman is a gullible as am I, but I was always intrigued to meet the fellas that had some kind of board strapped to the top of their vehicle no matter what kind of vehicle they had. I’m not sure if it will work if the driver doesn’t know what to do with the sailboard, surfboard or whatever “board” they have strapped to the roof rack, but maybe it would be good for a conversation starter. If Craig is as interesting and clever as he sounds I’ll bet it won’t take too long to meet a few interesting women. I don’t know how long it’ll take for someone to steal the board so he better move quickly once he puts on up there.
2–Since he’s a painter…paint the minivan to look like a vintage VW Microbus. It’d start a few conversations.

He should paint a vintage Hawaii/surf theme on his van. Hula girls&boys, palm trees, surfboards. Artistic & very So Cal yet artistic. Should be a beachy chick magnet.

Oops…re: Hawaii theme, meant to say MANLY yet artistic. I agree about the prominent display of outdoors gear. Sexy.

 Well, good news and bad news.
 Bad news, you cannot make a minivan look good.  I've seen people put on flames -- it makes it look like a van that's on fire.   On almost any vehicle, spoilers look stupid.  On a minivan, "Big" rims look stupid.   Racing stripes look stupid.

 Good news?  The only women I've spoken to who would possibly care what your minivan looked like (serious gearheads!) were lesbian.   I'm sure there's a few straight woman gearheads but they are few and far between.  I'm going with the "load it with puppies" suggestion, honestly, but I think in reality it won't matter.