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Step up and be a man

Why are there so few men driving the roads?

Somebody tell me.

When my daughter was born, long, long ago, my responsibility for her hit me like nothing ever had before. At that time, I realized her and my wife’s vulnerability when they were away from me in our car. I hoped some decent man would come to their aid if it was needed.



But if other men were expected to help my wife, didn’t I have to do likewise? It was an epiphany, and since that time, I have pulled over and changed countless flat tires for women, gotten gas for them, even installed a new radiator hose.



What a joy it has been too. What is so easy for a man most women won’t even attempt. Denise Hubner would be alive today if a decent man had stopped to help her with her flat tire. After many such men passed her by at night, a monster stopped to abduct and murder her.



So here’s the deal: Be a man. Help someone’s wife, daughter, mother, sister.

You’ll be glad you did. It’s important stuff.

I suppose I will bring down hell fire and damnation on my head for this from those here who visualize they are some sort of superior manly man. But, I no longer let other men or women tell me what I must be or do to be a man. I tell them, springeth forth with great force into the deep waters of the nearest lake. Ditto for thee.

Fifty years ago, women were viewed as helpless and vulnerable, and thus were not allowed to be driving around by themselves all over the country at all hours of the day and night.

Women took over our society, and men who had that belief were generally, um, destroyed, I think that is a fair term.

I do not exist as instant slave to any woman who has a problem. If you wish to do so, that is your business. But, when you denounce anyone who dares not to share your views as not a man, you are out of order. This is a car message board; there are social boards for your topic. See my earlier comment about springeth forth into the deep waters of the nearest lake.

Denise would still be alive if her dad taught her how to change a tire.

How about a cell phone, a CB radio, a small pistol, pepper spray. Sure, and how about flat tire changing ability?

That is certainly a tragic story and something for others to learn from.

Yes, I have helped people in stranded cars along side the road and will again. One had an older English car that had a loose wire connection to the ignition points. Another had an old Toyota with an ignition timing problem. Yet another had a loose battery connection.

That said, it would make it a good thing to have a post section for common roadside stoppage reasons here on Car Talk for others to beware.

How about “step up and be a woman”? Women can stop and change a wheel too. Help someone’s father, brother, son, husband, mother, sister, daughter or wife.

Boy oh boy! This one is going nowhere good. This is the repair and maintenance section, so lets keep it that way.

None of us need to be told to be kind to each other by a sermon in this forum.

I’ve stopped and helped quite a few people, both male and female, over the years but I don’t think the scenario is quite as simple as you make it out to be.
My appearance is, or was, long hair, bearded, and a Harley rider to boot and it’s quite likely a stranded lady on the side of the road may not care one whit whether I stop or not based solely on my appearance. I also consider myself a nice guy, or so I’ve been told a number of times, have no criminal record, etc. for what that’s worth.

What if the first guy that stops to help is clean cut, polite, and yet is a murdering pervert?
How is the stranded person to know?

There is no guarantee either that the Good Samaritan is not going to be the victim of a bushwhacking job either.
For an example of that do a search about Roger Dale Stafford who was behind the murder of an Air Force Sgt. and his family when they stopped to help a stranded lady motorist (she was in on it) on I-35 some decades ago. Not long after Stafford was behind the Oklahoma City steakhouse murders.

He was finally executed for his part in these killings and IMHO dropping the punishment hammer severely is not done often enough. It seems like every time I see a crime reported on TV it’s always followed by phrases such as, “had a lengthy record, just released on parole for the 9th time, walked away from a work release program, etc.”.
One bad crime reported on here recently stated the criminal had a record 3 pages long with many of those crimes involving weapons and violence. That begs the question why was the guy released on parole a year into a 15 year sentence.

X number of people should be locked up for good at a certain point or done away with entirely. Once that is done the crime rate should drop significantly and the police won’t have to arrest the same people over and over and the DAs won’t have to prosecute the same ones repeatedly. Or work out hokey plea deals.

Frankly, I think that the people that answer other people’s questions here on this board have already stepped up. Suppose you take care of the roadside emergencies.

In today’s society, everyone’s looking for a scapegoat. You stop and help someone you’re risking plenty. Even if the person you’re stopping for isn’t bent on mayhem, if the repair doesn’t go perfectly the good samaritan is going ot get sued. Just check this board for the people that try to pin any failure their car ever suffers on the last person to touch it, however long before or far removed from the problem.

No, I’ll be a man and take care of my own. If I see someone stranded on the road I’ll offer to make a phone call for them if they’d like. You take care of everyone else.

Here’s an idea for you, Bozo. Buy your wife a reliable car and maintain it properly. You will significantly reduce the odds of her needing roadside assistance. If you are still paranoid, buy her a AAA membership and a cell phone. Now she won’t have to rely on the kindness of strangers, and will be much safer if something happens.

The last time that I attempted to help a woman, it went like this:

She pulled into the parking space next to me in a parking lot. As I got out of my car, I noticed that her right front tire was almost flat. I waited until she exited her car, and pointed out the tire problem to her, wtth the intention of helping her to change the tire if she did not have AAA or some other road service.

She asked me if I had any idea why it might be almost flat. (That should have been my first clue that her gray cells and synapses were not functioning very well!) I responded that the problem could be a nail or screw in the tire, or it could be a defective valve, or it could be the result of the incredibly damaged sidewall of the tire. (The sidewall had what I call “female syndrome”, i.e. so many gouges and cuts from multiple curb strikes that the white inner layer had formed a GIANT jagged whitewall effect on the sidewall of the tire.)

She asked me why I had concluded that the tire’s sidewall was damaged, so I bent down, showed her the difference between her tire and a “normal” tire, stated that this was the result of the tire having hit a curb many, many times, and explained that this takes its toll on a part of the tire that is not extremely strong.

She then began to SCREAM at me that she had never hit a curb in her life. I stated that somebody who drove the car had apparently damaged the tire with multiple curb strikes, even if that person was not her. She responded by SCREAMING that she was the car’s only driver and that she had never, ever hit a curb. Her demeanor was clearly that of someone who is irrational, and since I do not believe that I am under any obligation to assist someone who abuses me, I simply stated, “I’m sure that you are correct, have a nice day”, and I walked away from this out-of-control person.

Experiences like that will definitely make me hesitate before I offer assistance to someone again.

Well I for one taught my daughter to take care of herself if there’s a problem on the road. Great that there are men out there to help…but there are also men out there who will take advantage of this situation. When my daughter was just learning how to drive…there was a guy in Massachusetts who had picked up 5 different women/girls who were stranded on the road and raped them. To this day the guy has never been caught. So as a parent of a young daughter I’m glad my daughter know hows to change a flat, fix a radiator hose.

I was a manager of sales reps with company cars, just about 50% of my reps over the years were woman. Our advice from corporate based on recommendations of safety experts were for a woman to stay in the car with the doors locked and under no circumstances unlock the doors or roll down a window until a police officer or the tow truck arrived. If the car had a flat tire the direction was to slowly drive to a safe location and sacrifice the tire and wheel if necessary.

The safety experts said there were too many wacko’s looking to take advantage of the situation compared to the number of genuine good samaritans. Personal safety took top priority, over the appointment missed, damage to the car, or anything else. Kind of sad, but a reality in much of our great country.

“The right thing for a woman to do is leave her car and head for the nearest building or house or lights. And if there are none, she should get into the trunk

If the OP does not know how wacky an idea this is (on several levels), then I am not about to begin his education for him.

At least we now know how firm a grip on reality he has!

Hopefully, Bozo’s time on this forum will be very short.

“Yes, it’s very easy for you cowards to preach that she “shouldn’t have run out of gas.” But the bottom line is that we’ve all done it.”

You should not make assumptions about whether others have run out of gas or not.
In fact, I have never run out of gas in…44 years of driving.
Making that assumption can be just as invalid as assuming that you know how someone voted in the recent presidential election.

That being said, I won’t even assume that you are wearing an aluminum foil hat while you are posting–despite some evidence of your preference in head gear!

Funny Story…

Many years ago…I went to Sears at our local mall.

As I pulled into the parking spot…The BEAUTIFUL woman gets out of the car in front of me. Said her car had died…and asked if I could “Jump Her”. After my heart stopped pounding I realized she meant…“Jump her car”. Which I gladly did.

Bozo, in case you didn’t read the terms of service, hate speech will be quickly flagged as inappropriate and removed from view.

If you were a real man, you would debate the merits of your argument without acting like a child.

And if you would teach your wife how to read a fuel gauge…

It looks like all vestige of our friend has disappeared, with the exception of his original posts of pontification.

When I got here today, most of them had already been flagged. You can tell because they lose all formatting and appear as one long paragraph. So when I flagged them for being hateful and inflammatory, they went to the moderation queue.

I didn’t intend to get rid of all his replies, but each one contained a personal insult to people who don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Hopefully, Car Talk’s moderators will agree.

I find it ironic that the guy who wants us all to “man up” acts like an angry child.

Women’s Liberation has not made them more car savvy, no matter how many books have been written by mechanically inclined women for women on how to manage the care and feeding of their cars.

A few years ago I changed a tire for 4 nice ladies on their way to a Feminist Liberation meeting!! I nowadays only stop to help people in REAL NEED regardless of age or sex.

Last week a young woman in a shopping mall lot tried to find where to put the oil in her car. Her husband, out of town, had phoned her to add oil. She had a quart of 10W30, and I showed her how to pour it into the engine without a funnnel, which she thought was needed. I told her to get 5W30 in the winter, since we have cold winters here.

I also showed her how to check other fluids, since her out-town-husband apparently had not done that either.

Many people needing help are seniors, who can’t get the hood open or have forgotten to inflate their tires, or top off their coolant. Although I carry heavy cables, I’m reluctant to jumpstart a stranger’s car for fear of being accused of ruining their electrical system.

There are numerous courses now for women to become “car smart”, but few takers. My wife knows enough about cars to know when and where to get help, and has taken several courses. She always carries a cell phone and her AAA menbership.