I have never seen a car damaged by slamming doors, other than the rear hatch on old Volvo station wagons. First the plastic stops break, then the door closes too far and tears up the lock. Sometimes the rear window shatters.
I would look at the plastic blocks that stop the door every time I wash the car. If they start to split from the abuse, replace them.
As for your wife's attitude toward your car, that "dumb car" is the tool you use to get to work every day. That's important. Abusing it increases the cost of ownership, which means that there is less money for other necessities. A grown-up should understand that.