Pope's 10 Commandments of the Road

Thou shalt not drive and listen to Car Talk at the same time (outbursts of laughter while driving can kill you!).

Thou must truly be an exceptionally bad driver if you are unable to listen to Car Talk and still drive well!!! If thou is indeed the case; thou might consider pulling over or listening when not driving!!!

If what hair thou hast left is gathered in a gray pony tail at the back of thy neck, thou shalt not drive a small sporty convertible.

No cellphone can last that long w/o recharging. Thou must have a brain with NO charge.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in your van.

Honor thy father and thy motor.

Nor should ye expect the right lane to part like the Red Sea because thou put on thy turn signal.

Thou should if thou is in a vehicle with a V8 engine and muscled thou’s way in!!!

To the annoyance of those poor sods patiently waiting!!!

Here are my 10 commandments of the road:

  1. Don’t tailgate. Stay back 2 seconds. Add an extra second for over 45 mph or rain. Add two seconds for snow, and 4 seconds for ice.

  2. You have no right to be in a hurry on the road. Be patient.

  3. Dim your lights when approaching other vehicles.

  4. Obey all traffic control devices.

  5. Make full stops at stop signs. If the vehicle does not rock back on its springs at the end of the stop, the vehicle has not yet stopped.

  6. You can’t turn right on a red cop. A traffic officer is not a traffic light. You have to stay until the policeman actually directs you to move.

  7. No road rage. You don’t have the right to enforce the law on other drivers. Leave lawbreakers to the police.

  8. Signaling turns and lane changes is not an option.

  9. Safety is more important than staying in cruise control. It’s also more important than tricks to extend gas mileage.

  10. If a vehicle is signaling a move to one side, never pass it on that side.

Keep uppermost in your mind the Laws of Physics -a 3000lb vehicle can never win an argument with an 80,000lb vehicle

If you are smaller than the vehicle overtaking you the turn signal is to be treated as a question -you are asking permission to come out. If your vehicle is 75 feet long and 80,000 lbs the signal light is a statement -I AM COMING OUT!!!

If you happen to glance in your mirror and your view is full of truck grill - move over as you have already incurred the anger of the truck driver and DO NOT want to see their wrath

Driving requires your full attention - everything else is secondary

Speed id Relative - and should be treated as such.

Do not engage the ignition until you have engaged your BRAIN

[/quote]America should adopt the German system - it is very difficult to get a license and very easy to lose it for driving in the wrong lane relative to your speed[quote]

Thou shalt not play your cheesy (probably soon to be stolen and probably was stolen from someone else) bass-bumpin’ car stereo with your miserable, soon-to-be-forgotten-in-a-few-months gangsta’ rap in front of my residence any later than 10 PM on any given day. Thou shalt not own a car stereo worth double the value of the vehicle it is in.

Thou shall be going FASTER than I am before you merge in front of me, otherwise, get the hell BEHIND me.

Thou shall allow the pedestrian in the crosswalk to full cross before entering the crosswalk, lest the holy officer deems to make you one of them.

Thou shall respect the bicyclist next to you as they have the same rights and privileges as you do on the road.

Thou shall watch out for the poor hard working souls cleaning up along our state roads for FREE as part of the Adopt a Highway / Clean up programs.

Thou shalt always use thy directional signal when making turns, pulling over, and changing lanes. Thus shalt thou reduce the rage of other drivers.

Thou shalt turn on thy headlights during the daytime when it’s snowing, raining, or is otherwise totally gray, especially if thy car is silver or white. Thus shalt thou be seen by other drivers, including 18-wheelers and buses.

Thou shalt use thy mirrors when changing lanes on the interstate because turning on thy directional signal doesn’t automatically guarantee that thou hast the right of way to pull over.

Thou shalt drive in the right-hand lane, not the middle lane or far left lane, of a three-lane interstate highway if thou canst not drive at the normal speed limit.

Thou shalt not try to straighten blind curves. Those that are not blinded may be straigtened when thou seeth there is no vehicle approaching from the other direction.

When thou comest upon a one-lane bridge, thou shalt wait thy turn and not expect the meek to remain meek for, lo, they will not.

Some seem to think this should be “That shalt drive in the rightmost lane inless thou art willing to exceed the speed limit.” (There was a letter to The Nashville Tennessean to that effect.)

Thou shalt agree to the terms of service.