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I'm 49 years old, and I never want to buy another car again

If I’m understanding you correctly, these are all issues that arise from the gasoline engine itself, both the condensation and the oil not being pumped through the engine yet. Those issues would not apply with an electric motor…

Ranck, weren’t those problems with short trips more of an issue before electronic fuel injection? I thought the only issue with short trips with post EFI engines was with moisture in the exhaust system.

Yes, fuel injection makes it better, but doesn’t eliminate the problem.

And, yes, these are issues with ICEs, not electric motors. I think the OP would do well with a GEM car if he never needs to take longer trips, or is willing to rent a car or use other means for long trips.

Link to GEM cars: http://www.gemcar.com/models/