How to Identify Where a Driver is From


#1

I got this from a posting in Military Humor off Facebook

  1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.

  2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

  3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

  4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

  5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.

  6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

  7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

  8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.

  9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald’s bag out the window: Texas.

  10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.

  11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.


#2

I usually look at license plate.


#3

Recently cited for shooting fake deer, loaded rifle in vehicle, hunting without a license, shooting from vehicle, shooting from road all on the same offense; Maine.


#4

I think those fake deer should be outlawed. I’ve almost slammed on the brakes more than once, being a little deer shy.

Good ones.


#5

@kieth, thanks for the laughs.


#6

How about this:

both hands on the wheel, in a deathgrip

seat moved all the way forward

forehead pressed against the windshield

driving 55mph in the fast lane on the freeway

Where are those guys from?


#7

@db4690

Oregon.


#8

This reminds me of a joke that I heard it Maine many years ago. I need to preface this joke with the fact that in Maine…the majority of fence posts out in the country have a tire hung over them for one reason or another. Most of them are used as signs however.

A few old men were sitting out on the porch of a local general store near a major highway. As they watched the cars and trucks go by they would occasionally say “City, suburbs or country.” A tourist heard this and walked over to the group. He asked them why they were responding in this manner. One guy leaned over and said "It’s simple, we can tell where these vehicles come from by the tires they have. The man looked puzzled so the guy said “Let me explain.” If the tires say “Michelin”…the people are probably from the city. If they say “Goodyear” the people probably live in the suburbs. If the tires say “No Hunting or No Trespassing” then we know they are from the country.