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Car went dead

1996 Honda Accord. Turned car off after driving it home and parking on the street. Made a funny sound and went dead. Turned key - will not crank. Entire electrical system seems dead. Remote key not working. Lights not working. Dead battery or something else?

Dead battery is the place to start.

Sounds like something must have shorted out. A dying battery doesn’t make a funny sound. I would look under the hood for anything that may look burned. Also check for a burnt smell. If it were me, I would have the thing towed to a good mechanic and have them look it over.