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Can this save the show?

Do you think making car problems half as complicated would help extend your NPR tenure?

Something like this perhaps?:

OMG…at first I thought the guy was a prison escapee, with the convict striped shirt and bald head. If he hasn’t already killed himself, he sure is a nominee for the Darwin Awards…


You have to kill yourself, or become sterile, to earn a Darwin Award. Darwin Awards are strictly for people who have eliminated their DNA from the gene pool. If you live through the experience, you get an Honorable Mention.

I was driving along and I now have a lot of wind in my face and I cant hear the kids in the back. What may have happened?

I think that guy should put on a skid plate, why worry about saving the show, they want to retire, Ray probably has a sore throat and can’t chortle any more, and Tom probably has carpel tunnel syndrome from dope slapping ray, there will be new voices to fill the void. My biggest fear is a nerdy geeky voice talking about how your new car is powered by windows.
My car won’t start
(high pitched nerdy voice known as ts technical support) " Yes I realize you car shut down for no reason, have you tried start, then stop?
No the car just locks up and won’t drive. I have to press start to stop?
Where is start? I put my key in, turn it and nothing happens.
Have you tried the start button on the key fob?
Yes it does not work.
Well then windows is not the problem it is a hardware issue and you have to call the manufacturer.
Later that day.
Windows said to contact you because my car won’t start with the key or fob.
What happens when you push the start button on the fob
What happens when you put the key in the ignition and try to start it?
Does your dome light g on when you open the door?
OK it is a software issue and you need to call our technical support representatives,
I will transfer you.
15 min later, Hello, how can I help you, we are interested in your opinions as your call may be recorded to give us answers to a brief survey, press 1 for yes, and 2 for no.
(at this point pressing 2 results in a 1 hour delay, nice music though)
How can I help you?
I was referred to you because my car wont start.
Does the car have a battery connected?
Have you disabled updates?
Yes, every new update reboots my car, then I have to go through settings to get it to run again.
I am sorry your car can no longer run without the updates, please install updates, and press the button in the glove box to reboot.
What If I don’t want the updates?
Then your car will not be allowed to access public roads because of safety concerns, like driver avoidance and gps speed tracking.
I am only gong to drive it to and from the house and barn on my farm, can I do that?
Yes of course, please turn the head lights on, then off, then tap the brake pedal 3 times and say there is no place like home…

The guy is just doing a little grading work. No big deal, but he should put his seat belt on, and wonder where the gas tank is?

That’s nothing compared to what Red Green did one time. He took a Dodge K-car and a Plymouth K-car and cut them in half. Then he welded the front ends together and had a dual-engine, four wheel drive car with four wheel steering! It was awesome!

I can’t see who liked my post, as the disagree from @Capriracer is all I can see, what’s up Capri. Just to let you know I have been maintaining and dealing with windows, 40 computers under my control, and windows running my car does not give me a warm and fuzzy feeling.


I am not Capriracer, but when I comb through your incoherent sentence fragments and partial words, I find lots to disagree with. Windows 7 Ultimate is a pretty nice product. It’s given me no issues. You seem to speak about Windows as if people are still using Windows 98, or Windows ME, and installing updates is no hardship. I don’t see why an IT professional would want to be able to choose not to install security updates. Even Mac’s OS has security updates and patches. Heck, even Android updates its software, yet when MS does it, it’s because their product is somehow inferior?

It would be nice to put an end to this off-topic conversations about OS software, and get back to cars.

In case you’re wondering, I flagged your post as “off topic.”


The guy in the two-wheeled car is speaking Polish.

That ought to tell you all you need to know.