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Your Mechanic's Brain

All generalizations are false. Except that one, maybe.
I’ve run into (not literally) a few mechanics who were sleazy. They would fix things without getting a signature or a verbal approval on the repair. That’s not legal in NY, but try to get your car out of there without calling the cops.
After a while in an area, you learn who you can trust with the safe maintenance of your car.
“Click and Clack! Frackin’ good!”

“I sure do miss my Chrysler benefits, but man, that is some tasty bud & Bud!”

Whitey…

That’s my father-in-law’s brain…His tools consist of duct-tape, WD-40 and a crescent wrench.

can you print the tail gate down myth that some idiots think that get them better mileage when in fact it makes the mileage worse–

Specifically:

Those?

I can fix anything. Just give me some PB Blaster and Duct Tape.

So how DID the damn thing keep running with no teeth on the timing sprocket?

Ya gotta flip this switch to run the radiator fan…or drive very fast.

Twin Seventy AC system…two windows open, 70 mph.

Well knowing my mechanic like I do, and seeing the picture he has on his bulletin board. He’s sitting in front of a completely assembled transmission, with a hand full of extra nuts & bolts. The caption reads…

“Will you look at this, now just where do all of these go?”

You gotta’ love a mechanic that pokes fun of himself!

Here’s an example of things that some mechanics are willing to try just for giggles.

Who on Earth thought that was a good idea??? I have been hit by a coil spring (flew out of the spring compressor and hit me in the left inner thigh, narrowly missing the most sensitive part of any man’s body) and still have problems with the resulting nerve damage. Let’s see these morons try that with a front strut. The bearing plate would probably end up a couple blocks up the road if somebody’s head doesn’t stop it from leaving the parking lot.

How about a car in some number of pieces with the quote
"The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts." Paul Ehrlich

First, I am kidding because my mechanic is very good and honest, but through the years I think there were many times when the mechanic saw a woman and mentally rubbed his hands together while thinking, “Oh goodie, another sucker!” I think that would translate quite easily onto a T-shirt.

I worked with a guy who rented one of those cheap spring compressors to replace his struts one weekend…He came to work on Monday like he had been in a fight (AND LOST)…Broken nose…two black eyes…and at lest one tooth missing. He got hit by the spring after it bounced off the wall that was a couple feet away. If it hit him directly I don’t think he would have survived.

Blond hair
Blue eye
Named Donna
Drives a Camero
Forget the Boat!
I’m getting a Plane

NASCAR tickets
This year’s beer budget.
What’s for supper?

“I got a guy.” The 4 worst words in the human language. I once had a '92 Buick Roadmaster wagon that needed a new timing chain. My brother “had a guy”. This car, despite having over 150k on the clock, didn’t leak anything-but once this joker was through, the car had developed an oil leak. Please, don’t “get a guy”! Make sure your mechanic is ASE-certified, or you’ll be in the market for another car-like me.

Here’s my idea for Your Mechanic’s Brain: “I told him garden hose is NOT a substitute for heater hose!”

•Customer IQ
•Boat
•Lunch
•Customer car

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