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Slow Car

A slow driver on the Feb. 19th, 2011 show asked for advice for dealing with tailgaters. One suggestion was getting some red and blue lights. Here in MD. that would net a big ticket for impersonating a police officer. Better solution: Buy a late model American car and paint it black with white doors, or simply buy a used cop car at auction. I met a fellow on an ex-cop Harley. It had no extra lights or gear, just the black and white paint job; people were always getting out of his way, or giving him plenty of space!

There is a look to an unmarked police car. They’re typically Ford Crown Vics in neutral colors. They might have an odd looking antenna mounted on the roof or trunk door. It doesn’t have to work or be connected to anything. You could put a Trooper hat on the back windowsill. You could put a couple lights on the back windowsill. They shouldn’t be red or blue or in any other way violate local or state laws. Again, they don’t have to work.

Setting a car up this way won’t succeed with every car behind you, only the more observant drivers. There are more than a few drivers who do stupid things with marked police cars right in front of them, so a fake unmarked car certainly isn’t going to deter everyone. And it may still attract official attention and get you pulled over. The problem is that people have done stuff like this and then committed crimes after pulling people over while pretending to be cops.

I have a fairly long commute, about 60 miles each way, and most of it is along a 2-lane highway (one lane each way). I don’t speed, and this absolutely infuriates some drivers, who tailgate, honk their horns, flash their brights, etc. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, and finally came up with a solution that actually works. It’s a magnetic bumper sticker I designed myself, and ordered from I’ve had people ask me whether I really am transporting what the bumper stick says, and I always reply, “Yes, one full set”. Feel free to copy the design yourself. You can see a picture of it here:

I’m sending one to Click and Clack.