So I just got a slightly used 2010 hyudai sonata, fully loaded, approximately 5 months ago. I have also temporarily moved back home after being on my own for 10 years. I drove my car from the West coast to the East coast as this once in a life time deal. My mom and step dad’s plan to take their older car with known problems out to the West coast undoubtedly fell through. So guess whose car they want to use? They have been overwhelming supportive of me through my late teens into adulthood. I am living with them rent free while I look for work. So, am I being selfish in not wanting them to take my brand new car BACK across the country?? My mom is miffed about my refusal and it’s making for tense living curently. I appreciate your thoughtful feedback.
Yes you are selfish!
Make sure they are covered on your ins
15 yrs from now you will wonder how you even thought about saying no.
Ordinarily, I don’t recommend lending out a vehicle, but under the circumstances you describe “…have been overwhelming supportive…living with them rent free…” I would say let them use your car. One possible caveat: do they have good driving records or are they accident prone? Do they “drive hard” or are they gentle on a vehicle? If you legitimately believe they will wreck your car you would be justified in not wanting them to use it.
Also, I second the recommendation to add them to your insurance as “authorized drivers”. When they get back you can remove them. This is usually done with a phone call to the insurance company. That may cost a few extra bucks on the insurance, I advise you to go ahead and cover that, especially if you are staying rent free.
Did you ever borrow the car from mom and dad when you were a teenager, or in college?
Since you are living rent free, and likely getting free food; yeah it sounds selfish to me. Hopefully, you are doing your own laundry and cleaning the house during your stay.
Unless mom or dad have a history of wrecking cars they should be trusted and responsible caretakers of your car during the trip. Perhaps they should pay for an oil change or one of the 5,000 mile service bills as a gesture of appreciation for using the car.
When you find a job, what kind of rent are you going to pay to stay at home? Or, if you move out what kind of restitution for the back rent do you plan to pay your parents? Now as a 30 something adult living at home rent free is not a part of the parenting contract. Free room and board ends somewhere about the age of 18.
Way back in '79 I had purchased a brand new Toyta pickup. That same year, my dad, whom I was very close to, had his car stolen. He did not have renter’s insurance, so I loaned him my new pickup until he could find s replacement vehicle.
To make along story short, my dad got in an accident. My dad felt horrible about it, and never accepted an offer of a loaner from me again.
I have never once regretted loaning him my truck. Now many years have passed, my dad is gone, and I’ll have only good memories of him for the rest of my life. I miss him.
Loan them the car. A car is only a colllection of metal parts. It ages and wears out. But memories are forever. They don’t age and they don’t wear out. Don’t let your car be more important than two people aho apparently love you, care about you, and sacrifice for you. The years pass quickly, and some day they’ll be gone.
Give them the gift of the loaner and wish them a wonderful trip.
I agree with the others and will add that you will be sorry later if you don’t loaned them the car even if you were not living with them. I understand not really wanting to loan it, but in the long run it will be the best thing.
You should take a good, long look in the mirror. The sad thing is that you should not even had to think it over in your mind or ask the question here. You should have just handed them the keys. That’s what a good son would do. What kind of son are you?
You can afford a fairly new car, but you can’t afford you’re own place? How does that work?
Thank you particularly Mr. Cheap, TheSameMountain Bike, and Joseph E. Meehan for your thoughtful, VALUEABLE, contributions to the topic at hand. It’s hard opening up yourself to criticism. It’s funny how some people LOVE to criticize and say nothing of importance. Nevertheless, thanks to the forum’s insight I will offer to lend them the car. ISSUE RESOLVED.
However, while I’m on this topic I am curious if the forum’s thoughts would still be same regarding the following issue: “Do I let them have the car at their disposal for the year that I will be overseas working?” I think this is a different scenario all together. But, I could be mistaken. They are not reckless individuals, but they do drive hard. They’ll probably drive my car hard during the time I’m away because it IS newest one and the one that doesn?t have to be at the mechanic all the time. Theyfore they are more likely to take longer trips with my vehicle than with theirs. So where do I draw the line? Do I even bother to draw the line? To recap: Should I leave my car with them for the year I will be overseas working. Or do I put it in storage so that when I come home on break I’ll have it?
Personally, considering how much they’ve done for you and that they obviously love you, I’d say yes, you should. This is a chance to return their love. You won’t be using the car anyway, and it’ll be a year older when you return whether you loan it to them or not.
I’ve had many cars over the years, almost all of them brand new. They all wore out, they all got old, all but one are now just memories. But I only had one mom and one dad. They’re both gone now, but they did more for me over the years than I could ever repay.
Your car may SEEM valuable to you right now, but your mom and stepdad are more valuable than any rolling sheetmetal could ever be. Treasure them more than the car. Let them use it while you’re gone.
Some people would rather see their car protected even though it means their mom and stepdad struggle, but you don’t seem to be that type. You’re just young, proud of your new car, and unsure of what’s right. But whenever you’re in doubt, always do the generous thing and you’ll never go wrong. Kindnesses are returned to you 1000-fold.
I’d let them use it under certain circumstances. They must pay for all maintenance, and they must keep up with required maintenance. If they choose to use the car, they should be willing to take part in upkeep. The car will be under warranty. But if any repairs are required, they should pay for them.
You will have to list them on your insurance, or they will have to list the car on theirs for the year that they are primary drivers. They should be responsible for the insurance cost on their policy. It probably won’t add much if any to your policy cost, so just let it ride. Before you do anything, call your insurer and tell them what you have in mind. That will help you make an informed decision, and will take the focus off you if your insurer insists that The 'Rents carry the car on their policy. On the positive side, you won’t have to store the car.
Ever heard that is is worse on a car to set than to drive it?
It is true!
Have them pay ins and do GOOD oil changes, thats all it should need
Let them have the car,while they are gone you have the house,party time.Like mountain bike, I wish my Mom was alive to ask me for the use of my pickup, wait Mom never drove a pickup in her life, I will drive.
If you don’t let them use the car, then I’d simply sell it. Storage isn’t a good option and over a long time the car will deteriorate if they drive it daily. If they want to buy it from you, come up with a fair price. If they don’t want to buy it sell it and save the money to buy another car when your stint overseas is done.
I think the 3 replies above (the same mountainbike, jtsanders, and Uncle Turbo) are excellent. Perhaps you could work it out to sell them the car below market value; a Hyundai is going to depreciate substantially in a year anyway. A year is a long time to loan a car. I especially liked 'the same mountainbike’s response, but, WOW, a year is a long time to loan a car…
Depending on what state you live in, you may be able to avoid sales tax and inspection fees since you would be transferring title between immediate family members. Check with your DMV.
I never really began to “give back” to my parents till my mid to late 20s. As I saw them get older, I realized not only could they use my help, but that they gave me infinitely more than I could ever give them.
I’d do anything to have them here now. Lending them my car for a year would be drop in the bucket.
It’s just a damn car!!! GIVE THEM the car!!!
You reap what you sow or what comes around goes around.
Let them borrow the car.
Loaning them your car would be a great way to let them know you appreciate all they have done for you.
It’s me (previously Warmgray2010–don’t ask) :). So, to follow up, the round trip to Nebraska from NY came and went, without much incident. I took much of your CONSTRUCTIVE criticsism and gave them the car with some restrictions (e.g., take care of the oil change when you return; drive it carefully-AVOID the potholes given the preexisting wheel issues). With my overseas assignment coming up quickly, I am still really torn about “lending” them the car for a year though…a year IS a long time. Storage will be free. My parents are not in a position to BUY the car from me as some of you have suggested–I wouldn’t even dare ask! I would never SELL them a car. I would just give it to them. However, as a young person establishing her finances (can we say over 100K in student loans? sob:), I’m not currently in a position to be paying for a car I won’t be using (as MUCH as I want to do that), while saving towards another new car and attending to other expenses. Anywho, thanks for all the great,valuable, RELEVANT feedback. TOODLES.