Marital car dispute

I drive a 2007 Toyota Prius. My husband is a very opinionated passenger. He says that every time he sees brake lights ahead, he want to feel that I have put on the brakes. He says I am going to kill us all.

I say that as a Prius driver interested in good gas milage, I never brake unnnecessarily and then with moderation. I say that I drive with my food hovering over the gas and brake pedals and brake judiciously.

The problem is that your husband does not control the car while you are driving. You might be a very safe driver, but he is used to his own driving style and reactions. I hate being a passenger for the same reason: I might think that a person is a safe driver, but I am more critical of their driving habits than I am of my own. I think I’m the safest driver on the planet.
Probably your husband would automatically brake if he saw brake lights ahead. I know I would if I was close enough to the cars ahead that I didn’t want to wait to see how fast the cars are decelerating. I know that I would definitely brake pretty hard without thinking about it if all or many of the cars ahead of me suddenly hit their brakes.

I advise you leave more distance between your car and the cars ahead of you when your husband is in the passenger seat, and that you maintain that distance, even if it means hitting the brake unnecessarily now and then. There is no value in making every trip a nail biting roller-coaster ride for him, even if his fear is unreasonable and it doesn’t feel that way to you.
It might also be that you are NOT a safe driver. For all we know you tailgate constantly, drive angry, change lanes constantly and unsafely to pass other cars, speed excessively, etc.

I may be wrong, but you do have regenerative braking that helps slow the Prius down as you lift your foot. Keeping the appropriate distance from the car in front is most important and just applying the the brakes to appease a control freak may often be more thsn necessary.

This is the driver’s choice. There is nothing safe or unsafe with the facts as known. It requires some observation and then an opinion, which you two seem to see it different. If you really want to settle it, agree that the results of a little independent test wins.

Then find a certified driving instructor and have them accompany you and your husband and then they can deliver the decision.