Kinky's Ex-Executive Buttboy Seeks Ignition Help


My 1999 Chevy Tracker, otherwise an excellent vehicle, will sometimes decide not to start. As if the computer fails to awaken completely, not all the dashboard lights will come on, as they normally do, when first turning the ignition key.

If all the lights do come on, no problem - the car starts right up and runs great. If the ‘Check Engine Light’ does NOT come on, it will not turn over at all.

With patience, one can wait until, after several (or a hundred) turns of the key, the "Check Engine Light’ finally comes on and the car starts. Unfortunately, this can take as long as an hour.

I have replaced both main engine sensors and the fuel intake valve - no help. Can y’all help?


Cleve Hattersley

Former Executive Buttboy For Kinky Friedman

Austin, TX


How long have you lived with this problem? You shoulda asked Vinnie in the mailroom. He would have taken but a microsecond to tell you to replace the ignition switch.


Thanks Steve - it’s been a few months, including several trips to the shade tree, but - hey, we’re musicians and politicians…


I spoke to Vinnie in the mail room. He said, “Yeah, it’s duh ignition switch. Don’t go changing that key lock part. That’s duh wrong part. The part with duh wires on it is duh right part.” Also, “Your mail’s already there.” Man! I didn’t realize that ol’ Vinnie is quiet the mechanic!


Boy - that Vinnie is one smart boy, isn’t he? Thanks muy mucho, folks!


Tell Kinky I’m still peeved he’s not our current governor and I am waiting for him to run for El Prezo. He could do no worse.


Will do, Bob. Lookout for 2010 - the Kinskter is seriously considering going after the gov again!


Excellent. I met the boy in Beautiful Downdown Marfa, and except for the gag-inducing funk put off by his cigars he’s da man.