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I know this is bizarre

But does anyone else kind of cringe/aren’t too happy when their wife has to drive your car? I have a brand new Mazda with all of my setting done the way I like them, and even though wife denies it, they always somehow mysteriously change.

I know it’s “just a car,” but I hate when others drive it.

Wifee has a new rav4, so the few times I have driven it I like to cycle through the menu options, She is like i will need a factory reset to undo what you have done, Sorry dear,

I wish my wife would drive the vehicle I normally drive more often. When we are on a road trip, she rarely takes the wheel. I want her to be comfortable driving this vehicle. We adjust the seat and mirrors differently which is fine. I have no problems readjusting everything after she has driven the vehicle. Our two vehicles are a Toyota Sienna and a Toyota 4Runner. I drive the Sienna most of the time because I am frequently hauling passengers. She prefers the 4Runner. I wanted to get her a snowblade for the 4Runner so that she could make some money during the winter season, but she didn’t like the idea. She said if I put a snowblade on the 4Runner and expect her to plow driveways and parking lots, she would put a taxi light on the Sienna and I could become a cab driver.


Next car make sure it has driver 1 and driver 2 settings. Then you just push the button and it puts the seat back where it was, sets your own radio codes, etc. etc. Thing is she drives the new car and I drive the older car. Maybe you need to just turn the new one over to her.

She rarely drove my old car and hasn’t driving the new one in the five months I’ve owned it. We use the same seat settings but use different mirror positions. When I drive her cars, I change the inside mirror position and she doesn’t mind. If she changed the inside mirror position in my car I wouldn’t mind either. Her safety is more important than my inconvenience in resetting the mirror.

Your wife driving a vehicle that actually belongs to both of you (queue the song-We are family ) bothers you and you worry about everything under the Sun. Fellow, you need a hobby.


In my lengthy marriage cars have always been “OUR cars…”.

As for tinkering with controls, that falls under the toilet seat situation. Seat up, seat down. Who is wrong…

People have gotten divorced over less than this. Keep it up and it the car may end up HERS in divorce court…

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Nah! Come on now - no divorce over this!

And a hobby… I coach three high school sports, training in Jiu Jitsu! … guess it’s time to find more… I only have so much time with a full-time job :slight_smile:

It’s more the reverse for my parents, Dad will borrow the car that mom normally drives and has to move the seat up a ways for his shorter legs. He actually prefers the seats in her car for long trips so they use that one more.

They’ve been driving each other crazy for 47yrs and counting so why stop now?

I always considered everything we owned “ours”. My ex didn’t.
In her mind, every dollar I made was “ours”. Every dollar she made was hers.


Your issues with the wife driving your car are irrational. That’s OK though, because people are irrational some of the time. Everyone has their quirks, and that is one of yours.


I have no issues with my wife driving my car, but then she is a good driver. If your wife is a bad driver, it’s not irrational for you to dislike her driving your car.

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All our vehicles have been OUR vehicles. But rarely did I just drive her car if we weren’t going somewhere as a family. But even then if we take wifes car - she usually drives. If we take my truck I usually drive. But I have no problem with my wife driving my truck. In fact I bring her along when I test drive vehicles to ensure that she is comfortable driving it. There have been a few vehicles over the years that she was not comfortable with (although I was) and I would not buy it.

As far as ownership goes…all our vehicles are in a trust under both names. So technically we both own our vehicles.

@Jman136 should be grateful some woman is willing to be his wife. Maybe he can buy a new stereo that has 2 ‘personalities’. I Fratelli Magliozzi told us the correct response to a wife is ‘Yes dear’.

This is a real thing. You’re not nuts. I had a perfect Miata. 2007 Grand Touring. I encouraged my friends and family to take it for drives, usually with me in it. It went well until it didn’t. One of the folks I let do this drove like a complete nut and speed shifted it. Stripped the synchros. I was in it when it happened. No more. One of the reasons I don’t keep a special car anymore.

John. not the same thing. It is not friends and family it is the wife and yes the person is being ridiculous.

My only issue is that my wife won’t let the car come to a complete stop backing out of the driveway before putting it in drive. She does it just like her dad always did. Afraid to use up the brakes or something. But its cheaper to trade cars before the warranty is up, I’m told. Oh and they don’t like to put gas in the car, so every Sunday when I’m driving it, I just fill it up. Well and then there is eating popcorn in the car, and and . . . Oh, never mind. Push the button for driver 2 and be happy.


Maybe you’re the one being ridiculous! It’s not that she doesn’t drive both cars as I do the same, Unfortunately, my suv didn’t come with memory settings until this year, where her’s has it.

This translates to “I just wanted affirmation for my behavior and am upset that I didn’t get it from this person.” Why did you ask if you already knew the only answer you would accept?


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