How to act like adults


#1

I am sure those that logged on today were not very impressed with various peoples conduct,it was not very pleasent for me either. To the people we try to help and to the regulars who were so disscusted that they tuned out today my apoligies.



I ask for some ideas how to nip these things off before the turn so ugly. Of course I feel I have been wronged but I am willing to do what it takes so that such a situation never happens again.

What I myself feel like doing is never responding to any type of provocation,just don’t participate.

Perhaps it is better to just go on and not discuss the situation any more,we have all (at least I have) had enough. Lets get back to trying to solve car problems. I did not have so much fun today but my ego is not so big that brushing it off and looking forward to a new day can not happen.


#2

The value of a forum like this this comes from the broad range of experiences the contributors have.

Sometimes human nature gets in the way causing us to view our experiences as the only way of looking at a problem. I know I’ve been guilty of that.


#3

What discussing? I don’t know nuttin about no discussing! And, I don’t want to act like no ADULT. I don’t, I don’t, I don’t! And, you can’t make me! No, you can’t. So, there!


#4

Acting like an adult includes settling your diputes in a calm and reasonable manner. Not taking your argument off to the general population, acting like a victim. It takes two to tango as they say.

You took a swipe at me too when I clearly had included a quote from the poster I was replying to. I see no retraction of your accusation in that thread.

I’ve read enough posts from Mike to know he isn’t shy about expressing his opinion and if he was really responding to you, he wouldn’t be shy about admitting it.

No one is immune to misunderstanding intentions on a written forum. BTDTBTTS. It’s how you react after the fact that makes the difference…


#5

I have had the same thoughts as you, oldschool. I have learned that reacting in kind is the worst course of action. Instead, I try to respond to rudeness in a manner that is overly civil so that it highlights the rude behavior with contrast. Many times I am tempted to include an insult that might sail over the other person’s head, but afterward, I usually regret it when it doesn’t. In the end, the best thing to do is let it roll off your back and let it go. The worst offenders are never going to change.


#6

Would someone please provide a link to the thread(s) this is all about?


#7

Oldschool, my friend, a good rule when posting to ANY forum is never argue with morons…Those observing can’t tell the difference and nothing is accomplished. Just offer your advise and let the readers decide who is correct. You win some, you lose some. But when you mount a personal attack, you ALWAYS lose…


#8

Thank you,my policy for the future is to not participate in any dialogue that could be considered back and forth bantering or arguing. Comments can come degrading or dismissing me or my work here and I will not be a party in creating a days worth of name calling and accusations. Say what you may I have no power over that but I do have the power not to engage. You can take my decision as a sign of weakness or admission of wrong doing on my part I have no control over that but I will not be a party in the type of behavior that occured yesterday.


#9

"Sweet words oil the congress of man. Vinegar sours the stomach."
And, if we was perfect, we’d be amongst the angels. I don’t feel like no angel.


#10

Can anybody let the rank and file in on this??? Its obviously important enough to start a thread on it so how about including the threads too. Even the regulars are curious…

transman


#11

This thread occured because of a discussion on the “Dealer rate to change spark plugs” thread. The discussion there went downhill.

See: http://community.cartalk.com/posts/list/2124364.page


#12

You have to be willing to let someone else have the last word, which I know ain’t easy (from experience).


#13

Let’s not forget this gem- http://community.cartalk.com/posts/list/2124414.page


#14

I am really surprised some of those posts were not flagged as inappropriate. While it takes two to tango, the ageist remarks are over the line in my opinion.


#15

Once today ends it disappears into history along with all inappropriate things that happened. I don’t recall the comments being referred to but applaud your thoughts on moving forward.

Yesterday doesn’t exist anymore. Heck, I can’t remember half of what I did yesterday! Age has its advantages.


#16

Yikes. I’d read the Timing Belt… one, but didn’t know about the Dealer Rate… one, so of course I just had to read it.

What can you say? I’d imagine that sometime or other many of us are more angsty on here than we should be; I myself have been guilty of that on a couple of occasions (just ask hellokit…sorry about that!)

All you can do is ignore it and move on. If a snarky comment is made, just ignore. Then go have a beer.


#17

I get touchy on occasion too, especially when someone challanges my patriotism for one reason or another. It’s a “raw nerve” with me. It probably comes from having seved during the end of the Viet Nam era and come home to a less than a warm reception. I’ll never apologize for standing up for myself on this issue.

We’re human. We come with scars.


#18

Now boys, don’t make me stop this car.

YOU, go sit over there.

YOU, sit over here.


#19

You or anyone else can flag inappropriate responses by clicking on the red flag. It will remove the post temporarily until the Lackeys can review it.

But the remarks are owned by only one person, the author. They do not reflect poorly on anyone else, especially a worthy board member like oldschool. Hey, oldschool, maybe you should change your name to newschool! Then you will be accused of being a youngster! Ohhh, but that name just might be taken…:wink:


#20

When my kids became far too frisky I started referring to them by name: Moe, Larry, and Curly. They got the point and toned it down. Even girls know the Stooges!