should i have voltage on the connector of the high beam when the high beams are not on
It looks like that is normal. Look at the schematic and imagine the feed for the lamp filament in question is “floating”. The voltage from the one side will also appear on the other since they are connected by the lamp filaments. In essence, you cannot debug this condition that way. If the control module isn’t driving the lamp wire, it will float up to the other filament voltage minus some wire losses…
If you swap lamps and the problem stays on one side, and you rule out a wiring fault (ohm it out from the lamp socket to the TIPM connector with the circuit de-energized), then the TIPM is most likely at fault.