"Don't make me come back there!"


#1

As a father of two kids who are constantly fighting in the car I use the same lines my parents used on me and my two siblings to keep us in line. I am wondering what some of these gems are that other people have used or are using on their kids for the same reason. I think stories related to these situations would be funny too.


#2

I’ll get the ball rolling. When my older brother, “Jesse”, was about three my dad would keep a long wooden spoon by him as an “attitude adjuster”. One day my they were drinving down a highway and Jesse was in the front seat. Jesse started goofing off and my dad told him to knock it off and sit down. Knowing what was coming next Jesse grabbed the spoon and started teasing my dad with it. So now dad is mad and reaches for my brother. Jesse smacks dad in the eye with the spoon and my dad unleashes a sting of curses and such as we all would do.

Dad’s eye is watering, Jesse is leaning against the passenger door trying to keep out of reach, and the car is still rolling along. Quite a situation and one I love telling my kids. Needless to say that was the last time the spoon was in the car.


#3

The most common ones I can think of are “Don’t make me stop this car!” and “Don’t make me turn this car around!”

We never got too out of control as kids, probably due to my father’s use of his old fraternity paddles.


#4

Our kids were great to travel with. It was always a tribute to my wife’s involvement, playing games, reading etc. They looked forward to car rides as she always tried to make if fun for them while I drove.

When I was young though, before corporal punishment was frowned upon, my dad who never struck us before, was very tired and knew he had to drive more than 300 miles through a snow storm at night with 3 crazy acting brothers in the back seat. That one time, he reached around before starting and “slapped” the middle brother for no reason and said…“that’s what the rest of you have in store if I hear any noise before we get home”. It was a safe, quite ride home.


#5

When we had three little ones that age, we decided to go with a Suburban for, among other reasons, the one you state. On many long trips, wife and I got the front seat, back seat was piled high with luggage (sleeping bags on top) and kids were generally thought to be someplace in the back with piles of comics, toys, pop, candy, etc. Worked fine.

When growing up, my teenage friend was let out of the car to stand while Dad drove off - not very far. Heard it worked real good. Can’t even think of things like that these days.


#6

My Dad was a multi-tasker before the word existed. My brother and I would go at each other nail and tooth on a long trip. My Mom would try to pacify us with words–hah! Meanwhile my Dad was doing a slow burn, unbeknownst to us. When he’d had enough he’d turn around and smack us silly with one hand without slowing down or taking his other hand off the steering wheel.

That would straighten us out. But kids have short memories. An hour later we’d be at each other again!


#7

We take road trips any time I get a “traveling jones” and thank goodness we all (wife and 3 girls) enjoy them. Plus both of our families are a 3 hour trip away. We never had problems but we were preemptive in keeping them occupied. All 3 girls enjoy reading so I got each kid their own mini-mag flashlight and it was way cool since it looked like dads/my big mag-light. When traveling at night it was quite since I could see the glow of 3 little flashlights illuminating each childs favorite book.

When they got older personal cd players got popular and those were sanity savers as well.


#8

As kids me and my siblings did well traveling. I really don’t know what my brothers did as we traveled because if we were barreling down the highway I was in my own world and did not care what happened around me. I was on a road trip, nothing could be better.


#9

I have 3 kids. When thigs got out of hand, I referred to them as Moe, Larry, and Curly. Despite their young age (oldest is 21), they know who I referred to and quieted down.