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Crazy electrical systems

Car would not start, battery seemed dead. Had very hard time jump starting, seemed like it wasn’t getting much juice from the other car. Once started, turning on lights killed the car. Jump started again and turned on lights while jumper cables still attached. Drove car a few dozen feet and electrical all shut off. Heard quiet clicking noise like fast turn signal only when the key was on the off position.

Replaced battery with new battery. Car started and was driven from 30 miles home (night time, lights on etc). Turned car off and restarted OK when arriving home. 2 days later, car dead. After charging old battery (which may be not very good) car would not start. Lots of grinding or fast clicking noise and windshield wipers move even though they are off.

Had removed battery about 2 weeks ago for short time.

The charging system needs to be checked out. The alternator may be bad. Since you talk about the wipers the alternator may be generating AC voltage which is very bad for the battery and other things in the car. It also sounds like there is an excessive current draw on the battery while the car is parked. Have that checked out also.