A few years ago my brother wrecked his car and I was looking for a stick shift to learn on anyway. We came up with an agreement that I buy the car and he will do some, not many, just some, repairs to it in the meantime while he: either gets a new car or repairs to one he smashed. I agree we find a car and my brother drives it for a week and parks it because he was able to fix his car enough to hobble it along for a while.
I end up sticking a grand in the car to get it running, can’t register it for six months because it took me that long to get the money to fix it up as I was in college and working part time. I drive the car for two years and finally I had enough income to upgrade to an 05 corolla. That was in September. My brother bought a Jetta, not even gonna get started there, and it fell apart, the dealer would only give him a trade in of 3 grand so he had it voluntary reposessed.
I had an offer for eight hundred on the paseo because my friends boyfriend knew someone who was big into paseo’s and he was going to part it out to his friends car club. But I sold it to my brother for four hundred because my Ma nagged me for weeks because “he was my brother and fell on hard times” So I did it.
He ended up taking a loan against my dad’s Harley and bought another car a week after I agreed to sell him the Paseo.
1,500 miles later, today, my brother calls me to tell me that he blew the motor on it. He claims someone cut him off and the engine started knocking. In two years the car never used any oil on me. My brother is notorious for blowing up engines, this will be number six. Because he is way too hard on cars.
There is a huge family arguement going on now because I am angry that he blew up the engine.
I want to ask everyone else, do you think I should be angry or am I just being ridiculous about this?
I don’t understand the problem.
Did you sell the car to your brother? If so, he destroyed his own car. Why is that any concern of yours?
It’s a concern of mine because my brother called me up trying to bicker with me that I didn’t change the oil. I feel its like if I gave him my dog and the next week it got run over because he always left the gate open or something similar.
Your brother would have made a good gladiator in Roman times. I have known persons like your brother; they have little or no regard for the capabilities and limitations of machinery. In other words, he is not car-smart. The “reasons” the individuals come up with to justify their actions are often laughable. If someone cuts you off in traffic, it does not destroy the engine. The usual excuse is “it just died”.
I was once in charge of administering a company car fleet. One salesman could wreck a new car in as little as one year, while another, very careful one, turned in a nearly “new” car at the end of year three, and everyone wanted to buy it.
In my experience, you do not lend people like your brother ANYTHING, since it will likely come back broken or out of adjustment.
You should be very angry at being being taken advantage of because you are family. Your brother needs 3 years of military service, where not maintaining a vehicle results in PUNISHMENT.
Thanks for the reply. I did sell him the car. I don’t think I should be irate, which I am not, just disappointed amd slightly angry. Car had a great engine, and fifteen hundred miles later…its trash.
You sold him the car. It’s not your car, and not your problem. If he gives you crap about it, tell him to kiss off, and don’t ever sell or lend anything to him again.
You could be mad at your brother because you think he is irresponsible. It isn’t over yet. Some time in the future he may get religion and gumption. He may get a great job and have a lot of money. Then when you and he are in your late fifties he will lecture you about how you should have done better if you had been smart. If you think you could be mad now… Sorry, I forgot the part about AFTER he gets out of jail.
Every time I get cut off I have to replace my engine too. I’m glad it doesn’t happen every time I hear horns honking for five seconds. It could get expensive.
"A few years ago my brother wrecked his car and I was looking for a stick shift to learn on anyway. We came up with an agreement that I buy the car and he will do some, not many, just some, repairs to it in the meantime while he: either gets a new car or repairs to one he smashed. I agree we find a car and my brother drives it for a week and parks it because he was able to fix his car enough to hobble it along for a while.
I end up sticking a grand in the car to get it running, can’t register it for six months because it took me that long to get the money to fix it up as I was in college and working part time."
Your story is all over the map; too much and too little detail at the same time. Maybe cars aren’t the thing for either of you.
You learn something every day: I never knew you could take out a loan against a motorcycle. Doesn’t that imply having collision insurance?
“He ended up taking a loan against my dad’s Harley and bought another car a week after I agreed to sell him the Paseo.”
So wait, what? How many cars belonging to who are we talking about now?
“1,500 miles later, today, my brother calls me to tell me that he blew the motor on it. He claims someone cut him off and the engine started knocking.”
See, this is one of those places where more detail would be good. How does “knocking” equal “blew the motor”?
To answer your final question, when in doubt, choose not being angry. Fewer bad decisions that way.
Life’s too short to waste your time worrying about what your foolish brother did to his car. Move on.
Your brother is an idiot…
Yea he put the title in my dad’s and his names, took out a personal loan with the harley as collateral.
The paseo was mine until I sold it to him. A week later he bought a civic.
He claims someone cut him off on the freeway the engine started knocking and when he pulled the dipstick he couldn’t read any oil.
Thanks for the advice and sorry for being all over the place.
Ask him what kind of abuse he did to destroy the engine?
No excuse, unless the oil light went out and a filter blew off.
Maintian your stance: You take good care of vehicles and do not abuse them.
Second that! He is also the “VICTIM” and it is always someone else’s fault. Mom is an enabler, so you’d best stay clear of any financial dealings with either of them.
This is all HIS FAULT. You know that, and mom will never see it.
Sorry about your car, but it wasn’t yours anymore. Lesson learned is never loan brother your car. Never sell brother your car. I wouldn’t even ride with your brother in a car. If he crashes, it will be your fault.
It’s a used car, it’s his baby, and tough. Avoid car transactions with relatives; your life will be better for it.
Your post reminds me of a guy I knew by association (not a close friend at all and younger than me) back in the 70s.
He got his drivers license when he was 16.5. By the time he reached his 21st birthday he had destroyed an equal number (21) of cars.
None of these cars were beaters either. They were all decent cars in the 5-7 year old range. Engines were the normal reason for failure with transmissions being a close (and sometimes concurrent) second.
What’s a miracle is that he survived all of that.
You learn something every day: I never knew you could take out a loan against a motorcycle. Doesn’t that imply having collision insurance?
I learned some of this is Latin America. When someone breaks something they say: “Se rumpio!”, which literally means “it broke itself”, and I had nothing to do with it. In addition the subjunctive is used liberally, since it conveys you don’t accept responsibility or whatever you say may not be true.
My Spanish teacher always told me these uses were a form of being polite, and avoiding assertiveness. He was being very kind.
If you want to maintain a good relationship with a family member, never sell or loan any car to them unless you can afford to give it away. If your relationship isn,t that strong, move on…
Sounds like your brother doesn’t check fluid levels. Is the car manual, did he down shift it? If not Id say your being ridiculous about it. You sold him a car you were attached to so clearly you will feel a type of way if it wasn’t up kept like you did regardless. a car like that you sell so you wont see it again. Then again its only a Paseo another motor would be under 400$. If its that much of a concern, which is about how much the car is worth with a full tank of gas. 1500 miles later? the car clearly seems to have had a problem prior and possibly went unnoticed then he was just the lucky guy that so happens to be driving at the time, whats the mileage on the vehicle? A car is ment to be driven things are going to happen regardless of the vehicle, thats why if you have that much of a broken heart their parts readily available to fix anything choose the right car to do so. But sometimes things happen to move on don’t be angry. Upgrade move forward.
Being angry is hurting only you, not him. Let it go.
But be of clear conscience. You did you brotherly thing, you sold him your Paseo for a price that wouldn’t even buy my tires. Let the other members fight of they insist, but when they bring it up to you just point out what I just stated, shrug your shoulders, and let it go. It’ll die down.
Agree; I gave my younger brother two cars when he was still attending college; a 1948 Chevy and a 1957 Plymouth. In both cases he looked after them and got several years of use out of each one. He still fondly remembers those cars.