2002 Idle Air Control Valve

After driving for 30+ minutes, when I restart the car it will not hold idle. If i simply disconnect the IAC connector and reconnect it the car starts up no problem. Do you think this is a ECM or wiring problem or should I just change or clean out the IAC

The valve is getting stuck. It’s a common problem. (Next time, instead of disconnecting and reconnecting, tap the valve lightly with a wrench or something. I suspect that all the disconnecting is doing is jarring the valve.)
You can clean it and it may be okay for a while. The replacement part is redesigned such that it is much less likely to get stuck. You may want to just go ahead and replace it.