Transmission fluid flush vs drain and replace fluid

Your dealer is right, although $120 seems high for something that is basically cheaper to do than an oil change. There is no pan to drop or filter to change on a Honda transmission. The gas station that told you it was black should be avoided completely.

Honda does recommend their own fluid, and they have come out with a new synthetic fluid, DW-1. You might find something that is equivalent somewhere else, but it will be just as expensive.