It amazes me how uninformative and barely intelligible some of the questions that appear on this forum are. One would assume that the poster has a valid problem and would like an informed answer. Nevertheless, some “questions” are posed in five words or less, with such little information given that one wonders how the poster expects other readers to understand the problem. Mind reading? Some people can do it, I hear. Alas, I cannot.
I hereby propose, for the amusement of regular readers, a contest for the briefest/least informative car question. You may submit actual “questions” that have appeared on this forum, or a “question” of your own devising. Remember, least informative and briefest earn points. As does poor/lack of punctuation. Humor also earns points. Alas, I have no prize to give. Only bragging rights.
Let the games begin.
For example, just to get the ball rolling, here is a cryptogram from a recent post:
“sunfire is running hot”
I’m sure someone else can do better…
HELPP ME My cAr woN’t sTArt hoW comE itt wont STarT HoW cOme TEll mE why saY iT SAY IT!!! wHy dO yOU kEEp asKing me moore queSTionz insttEad of ansWERiNg mY quEStion???
From behind the parts counter at Pep Boys back when parts books were used.
Me: Can I help you?
Customer: I need spark plugs for a Chevy.
Me: Which one?
Customer: CHEVY MAN, CHEVY!!! (loud and angrily)
Me: Nova, Impala, Vega, Chevette, Malibu, Caprice, Blazer, S10, Suburban, and so on. (politely)
Customer: ???
Ed B.
I’ve seen the “my car won’t start” sentence mentioned a few times with that 4 word phrase being the sum total of the post.
Excellent! Points for bad punctuation, but a small deduction for length…
Hilarious! Bonus points for making me laugh. “Which one?” Hah!
Definite points for lack of specificity. There may be no other car problem with more possible causes than “won’t start.”
I like the sign behind the counter at a local salvage yard that I deal with. The sign asks that the customer to please be prepared with relevant info about the car they’re seeking a part for.
At the bottom of the sign is the quote: “Conversing with a parts counter man is like wrestling with a greasy pig. Pretty soon you start realizing that the pig is enjoying it.”
Pretty sure I’ve been on the wrong end of one of those pigs once or twice 
Water leak-why and where?
“It’s broke.”
That gets points for shortness, and it’s right up there with “car won’t start” for lack of specifics.
“It’s broke” is 2 words, which begs the question, can anyone beat that with a one word “question?”
I’d suggest “Fire!” which is intriguing for its possibilities, but not really a question.
That’s good…points for squeezing TWO vague questions into five words.
One day on my way home from work I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some bread and milk but i wound up getting eggs and bacon instead so I had to drive back to the store to pick up my bread and milk again but left with cereal and syrup which meant i had to go back a third time and i bought the bread and milk and ran into one of my friends from high school and we got to talking about what we"d been doing for the 20 years we;ve been out of school and she’s been married for 10 years now and this is her 3rd husband then i had to stop and get gas and seen another old friend getting gas for there car and we chatted for several minutes while the people behind us honked there horns at us and told us to move but we stayed there since we were first they could pick other pumps if it was so important to them so i get home and go to bed then get up in the morning and try to start the car but it won;t start whats wrong with it?
Can I get a nomination for longest, yet most uninformative question with that one? 
My check engine light is flashing, and my car is running bad, what’s wrong?
Brings to mind that Allman Bros song, Lord, I was born a ramblin’ man!
That one contains two pieces of relevant information, so it’s actually twice as informative as “car won’t start.” Also, it suffers from correct punctuation
Yeah, that question (My check engine light is flashing, and my car is running bad, what’s wrong?) is posted a few times each week.
A couple of days ago, a potential winner was posted, consisting of only two words, namely, "Tools needed?".
Based on the title of the post, a couple of folks deduced that the OP was talking about working on the brakes of a Honda. The best response was something along the lines of…“only if you want to do repairs”.
I went to Car Boys and they said I had a code that means the engine? What else could be beside it.