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Tom and Ray's best stories

I love the way that Tom and Ray tell a story. Whatever the content, they usually laugh so much that you have to join in.

Listening to an old podcast last night, I had tears streaming down my face. They were telling the tale of a guy who filled up lots of weather balloons with helium and tied them to his lawn chair. He has with him some water, a parachute and a gun!

Of course he drifts across flight paths into L.A and a couple of commercial flights report a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. His plan is to puncture the balloons with the gun but he pops a few then drops the gun at 11,000 feet! By this time Tom and Ray can barely speak with the laughter. (He gets down eventually and is taken off in handcuffs by the way).

Got any other good stories from the show?

Tom and Ray have some great car stories. My favorite is the one about the customer who brings a car into a shop for repair and leaves it overnight. Next day the mechanic finds a dead dog in the back seat, panics, and tries to remedy the situation by getting a (live) replacement dog. Customer returns, finds live dog, and is shocked, because dog was dead when he/she brought car into shop! (The story acutally sounds dubious and apocryphal, but it’s a heck of a funny story, fiction or not).

Which reminds me of a funny car story I once heard about a (real) guy called Pete the Plumber. Pete was a real blue-collar Brooklyn kind of guy, with a real case of plumber’s butt. Pete wasn’t the best plumber, though, and did some bone-headed things. Like, once when he was plumbing a house with copper pipe, he mistakenly used grease instead of flux when he sweated the pipes. After plumbing the bathroom, he turned the water back on, and water gushed from every pipe fitting! When we realized what he’d done (grease instead of flux!) we laughed until we almost died.

OK, so now for the car story. So Pete the Plumber drives around Brooklyn in his big old Caddy. And he loves doughnuts. And one day he has his Caddy loaded up with new toilets, headed for a job to installed new toilets in an old brownstone. But, on the way to the job, Pete stops at the deli for doughnuts, and he leaves the Caddy double-parked and running out front. Pete gets his doughnuts and coffee, comes back out, and…no Caddy! Someone stole his Caddy, with all the new toilets! Somewhere, still, a car thief is driving around Brooklyn with an old Caddy full of toilets. So, hey, if you see him…tell him Pete still needs those toilets!

I can’t begin to do it justice, but the key phrase is “swiped a bunch of sheets of plywood from a construction site”. The image of the plywood sliding forward off the roof of the car, one sheet at a time, at the first stop sign, is one I will carry until my dying day.

Best story from a caller may be the guy who decided that what his car really needed was a shark fin on the roof. Silly idea turned to gold by Tom and Ray’s response to the idea.

And the image of the plywood sheets ripping off the nose of the car as they slid off…priceless!

Police looked into the case of the missing toilets but said they had nothing to go on! :slight_smile:

Wasn’t there also a caller who wanted to glue sea glass all over her car?