Found on Car Talks facebook page.
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bumpity bump
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Years ago, I had a boss who actually did drive on the sidewalk. I know, because I was the passenger. Near as I can remember, he got up to about 60mph. People were literally ducking for cover, like in the movies. But even when he was driving on the street, he drove like a demon 
Reminded of the commercial of the garage installing a new battery & told the customer , we’ll make it fit .
I kept a little placard on my desk for years and it read: IF I CAN’T FIX IT…YOU NEED A NEW ONE.
My brother kept something on his desk that was very effective at stifling backtalk and objections. What did he keep on his desk? At a garage sale, he spotted a book with a title along the lines of Cannibalism and Human Sacrifice…or something to that effect. He made sure that the title faced anyone who sat across from him.
Most people didn’t realize that he has a wicked sense of humor, but it definitely reduced the amount of backtalk that he had to deal with!
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For years I kept a beautiful gold-leafed copy of “The Prince” on my desk, prominently displayed to any visitor. Few noticed, perhaps fewer were familiar with the novel, but those that did and were got a huge kick out of it. It really relaxed those who “got it”.
I stole the idea from a good friend who was a retired Coastie officer and a PhD physicist… with a great sense of humor. 
PostScript: he’s passed away now, but I feel truly honored to have counted him among my good friends.
The Prince by Machiavelli ? Interesting. I’m ashamed to say I never read it. But I didn’t think it was a novel.
At my previous job, some guy took it upon himself to read “The Prince” by Machiavelli, just to be a smart alec
He claimed that because he had read it, he was from that point on smarter and better than us in every way
Obviously, he didn’t make any friends 