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No license

is there any information out there on how

how to get a child to get there license?

We have to drive her 9 miles to work one

way. At 4 times that is 36 miles a day for a 4 hour shift. And by the way she is 22.

The DOT in your state will have the information you need on the licensing procedure.

Motivation is another matter.

I’d say the quickest way to convince her to get a license would be to stop driving her to and from work. Having to walk or ride a bicycle 36 miles a day would be a great motivator.

She’s taking advantage of you and you’re letting her.

This is a parenting question, not a car question. And at age 22, it’s not even a parenting question, really. Set a deadline for the end of the free rides and stick to it.

You just become a taxi, and charge her the appropriate fare. Around here, that might be $10, each way.

Contact a local “driving instruction school”. In NJ it is very common and there are lots of vendors for this service. The instructor and school will give you all the info you need on how to get a “permit” so she can get on the road driver training.

Once she has got some experience the school can even take her for the driving test if you want to spend the extra money for that service.

What will happen when she gets a license? Does she use your car? Get her own car? Who pays for the gas? Who pays for the insurance?

While you are getting tired of the expense of driving her yourself it might just turn out to be more expensive for her to drive herself. Insurance itself for new young drivers can be very expensive.

At 22 she should be making moves toward independance. Getting her own driver’s license is just such a move.

For motivation you can tell her you are going to start charging her for rides, perhaps room and board too. She can either get a driver’s license or find a small apartment closer to her job so she can walk or ride a bike to work.

Some birds leave the nest on their own. Others take a shove from the parents. They don’t have the confidence that they can fly on their own. It appears your child is going to need a shove. If a gentle one doesn’t get the message across it may take a good hard one to do the trick.

9 miles isn’t too far to ride a bicycle.

A 22 year old daughter is no child, unless she has some kind of mental capacity issue.

If you simply stop enabling your daughter, she should be capable of handling this on her own.

9 miles isn’t too far to ride a bicycle.

Unless you live in the North…then it becomes a MAJOR PROBLEM from October thru March and into April.

Unless you live in the North…then it becomes a MAJOR PROBLEM from
October thru March and into April.

Well in this case, it could be a valuable MAJOR MOTIVATOR.

I like your line of thinking. :slight_smile:

Mike, isn’t the weather already warming up? It’s a brisk 57 degrees in Buffalo, NY today.

This young woman should have plenty of time to get her driver’s license before winter weather returns. Besides, when I lived in Buffalo, riding my mountain bike in the snow wasn’t what I would call a MAJOR PROBLEM. You just have to dress appropriately.

On a related note, I was an Eagle Scout adviser to a high school kid who rode his bicycle to school every day. (No money for the school bus). Anyways, he built his own “studded” tires. He bought a bunch of small screws, screwed them in at various intervals, cut them to length, and then lined the tire with several layers of duct tape (to protect the tube).

He rode his bike 4 miles each way, through rain, sleet, snow, etc - only missing about 2 days/year. I was pretty impressed with his determination.

JoeMario, what do you mean “no money for the school bus”? What school district charges students money to ride on the school bus?

school bus??? she is 22 and going to work…accuracy gets lost after several posts! just like reviving dead ones!

This is definitely a complex parenting issue, because it is fairly clear that this 22 year-old is living at home.

If the OP decides to stop driving the “child” to work, then the “child” is just going to vegetate at home and will be unable to contribute even a nominal sum toward household expenses. That will lead to an inevitable spiraling downward of whatever motivation and feeling of self-worth the child might have, and will also lead to discord (or perhaps MORE discord) at home.

The “child” is either very much afraid of the responsibilities involved with driving, or is very much non-motivated for self-advancement, or is just totally dependent upon her parents. And, of course, that type of dependence could have been fostered by the parents over a period of many years.

Ideally, the child should get her license, but I suspect that there is MUCH more here than was revealed by the OP.

Truthfully, this issue cries out for counseling, for all family members.

Buy her a good used bicycle. She’ll be applying for her driver’s license within months.

PostScript: this is not as cruel as it sounds. I’m a former cyclist, and it used to take me 9 miles just to get warmed up. My son, 29, also a cyclist, rides over 200 miles a week. Of course he’s also had a car for many years…

When I read the “child” part, I was thinking under 15 years old, not 22.
I was a little leery of driving myself around when I was younger, but now, 10 years later, I’m glad I made the step towards independence from bumming rides everywhere and having to depend on others to get me there.
I hope she’s been saving her money from work to buy her own vehicle

JoeMario, what do you mean “no money for the school bus”?
What school district charges students money to ride on the school bus?

Our town, and many surrounding towns, provide free public school bus service for only where it’s required by law.

The requirement is along the lines that towns must provide free buses for any student up through 6th grade who lives more than 1.5 miles away from the schools. The bus fee for all other students has been $360.00/year/student. At some point, a family cap kicks in.