So why pick on SUVs? Substitute Kenworth, full sized Cadillac, Crown Vic, delivery van, or freight train and the results are the same.
So was the near miss entirely the fault of the SUV, your fault, or a collaborative effort?
I can’t be of help in regards to any psychology issues but will only say that if you intend to drive you need to somehow convert fear of driving into careful driving.
since everyone reacts differently, perhaps the best solution is to face your fears.
Find out who the guy was that almost killed you and have a chat with them. And I don’t mean a ball bat to the face kinda chat. The invite the family to dinner kinda chat, find out what happened and why. You may find he’s just as scared as you, or that he’s a total a$$ and you wish you woulda brought that ball bat.
Another “face your fears” would be to rent an SUV for the weekend and drive that exclusively. Heck, you may find out you like it.
This really isn’t the right place for this kind of help. I have had a number of near death accidents over the years and none have this kind of affect on me. Just a few weeks ago a pickup drifted into my path on a two lane road with a deep ditch on each side, no place to go. The driver didn’t respond until that last second, he was still partly in my lane as we passed. I was kind of surprised that we didn’t share some paint in passing. He lost control and went off the road on his side.
BTW, I drive a Saturn, so if he hadn’t responded in time, well like Sancho Panza told Don Quixote, it doesn’t matter whether the rock hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the rock, its not going to be good for the pitcher.
Anyway, you should see a professional counselor. You may want to look for a car with a 5 star crash rating of even better the Insurance Institutes crash rating of “good”. That may help you feel safer. High performance rain tires might help also, but really, seek professional help.
If you work at a place that has an EAP, that would be a good place to start. They are totally confidential, your employer only gets the bill, nothing else. See your HR for more information.
Even if your techniques are perfect, learning how to handle your vehicle in emergency situations can help you build confidence. You need to find a way to face your fear, and an advanced driving class (sometimes called “skid school”) can help you do that in a controlled environment. My recommendation is to take a driving class like that.
I see two problems.
First, which most responders seem to have missed, is the need to seek professional help in dealing with your fear. Fear is good and natural, but sometimes it takes control and it would appear it is headed that way. You appear to need some help in putting it back into proper perspective. The longer you wait the harder it is likely to be.
The second problem, may not be a problem, but rather possible part of the solution. A driver training course, maybe one that teaches advanced driving skills, might not only help you recover confidence, but could also make you a safer driver, especially under emergency conditions.How do you know it was going to be a “fatal accident”? A near miss is as good as a mile. Get back on the horse. If you are just more aware the the dangers, I say that’s good. If you have a crippling fear developing, as other have said, get “REAL” help. Focus on what you did to avoid contact with the other vehicle.
The key to driving well as many instructors told me is to relax, loosen the grip on the steering wheel, relax, eyes up - looking down the road - the car goes where the eyes look, anticipate, and RELAX. Of course wear your seat belt.
BMW Clubs run a good skills school: http://www.boston-bmwcca.org/EventDescription/2008/adss.aspx. If interested, check your local chapter. You need to be a member, but you do not need to be a BMW owner (at least around New England)
I Agree With Joseph On Those 2. The Third Problem May Be A Car That Makes One Feel Unsafe.
I could not drive in traffic in some of these little clown cars or in a car known to be dangerous. I would be a nervous driver also, even at my skill level. One needs to be able to follow Racer Steve’s advice when he says,“The key to driving well as many instructors told me is to relax, loosen the grip on the steering wheel, relax, eyes up - looking down the road - the car goes where the eyes look, anticipate, and RELAX. Of course wear your seat belt.” A large, safe car that exudes confidence, comfort, and safety makes this possible, trust me. I have had people crash into me while stopped in traffic and I’m not afraid to drive as a result. Our cars only covince me that my family is safe. That’s what we’re talking about.
A car that you feel safe in may just let you “recover confidence”, “relax” and " . . . could also make you a safer driver, especially under emergency conditions."
We haven’t heard from Some Guy in a while. I wonder what he drives?
CSA
I know what you are talking about as far as almost being killed. I used to travel about 4000 miles a month and I have been almost run off the road several times.
First remember, SUV’s are not big evil vehicles that are bent on killing you. While I will never own one they are great vehicles for the right family or the right situation. The dangerous part is if the operator is doing something other than driving and paying attention. It’s kind of like a gun, the gun/vehicle is only an object that does not think or have a soul, the problem is in the intent of the operator.
When stuff like this happens I always consider it a life test and it is your choice to pass or fail. This moment it’s your choice to be forever afraid. You will always be looking over your shoulder for no reason. It will destroy your confidence in yourself and in everything you do and can also affect your relationships. Being eternally afraid will ruin your life and it was your choice. Maybe not visually, but internally you will be a small, cowardly, pantywaist. Strong words but that is what will happen.
Or…YOU must choose to straighten your back, look out instead of walking around looking down and tell the world “I am not afraid of what’s in my path, obstacles are an opportunity to grow”! It’s an attitude, a frame of mind, an opportunity to grow and learn.
I tell my techs to not let setbacks get them down. Setbacks are chances to learn and grow. Deal with it properly with a good attitude and you pass and it will help you in life. Blow it off and/or fix it with a crappy attitude and you missed the chance and personal growth DOES NOT HAPPEN.
It’s your choice to pass or fail, what will you do? Please respond back!
i drive a truck for a living we deal almost on an everyday basis of bad drivers in cars trucks and semi’s.if we focused on near misses or close calls we there would be nothing for us to buy.in july of last year i had a lapse n judgement an wrecked my bike well over the posted speed and paid dearly for with 3 surgeries 8 months out of work stop focusing on what could have happened and what you as a driver are doing.
These guys have sent home PTSD vets who have been in vets hospitals for over 20 years, in a week or so.
My son was in med school, and he has done this, it works well on most people for phobias and fears and neuroses.
I bought him the DVD’s. They license you to make 100 copies of each one as long as you give it away free.
Note that I do NOT have any commercial ties to this group, except that I bought a set myself.
You can get the manual free for the download, and if you hit Youtube, I think you can find a lot of the videos free.
As strange as it sounds, this really works. Yours is a minor problem as problems go.
And, no, it is not Satanic. Craig is an ordained minister.
All I can say is that it will take a while to get your confidence back, but it will come back. Any traumatic event will do this and make a person mistrustful for a while, be it an accident, divorce, injury, whatever. If there are country roads with little traffic accessible to you, maybe it would be worth taking some long drives in the country. Drive somewhere you enjoy and you might just find yourself liking driving again. You will heal.
I think the OP must have had enough.
After 46 years of driving, including many years of SCCA racing, the number of near-misses that could have ended badly is surprisingly low for me, but I don’t expect I’m different than anyone else. I’d suggest just getting back up on that horse and getting comfortable. After awhile you’ll get your confidence back.
I’ve been driving small German, Italian, Japanese, and British sportscars for 46 years. I must admit now, at 60+ years of age, I’m thinking a lot as I drive my TR250 everyday about oncoming idiots who’d rather swerve to hit me than a deer in their path, and I’m not as comfortable behind the wheel as I once was.
Just remind yourself that SUV drivers are self-indulgent slobs that are accidents waiting to happen. Give them plenty of room fore-and-aft and side-to-side. Their vehicles are inherently unstable, and their driving prowess is historically below par.
TR 250, You Were Sounding Pretty Knowledgeable And Intelligent Right Up To The . . .
" . . . SUV drivers are self-indulgent slobs that are accidents waiting to happen."
I don’t care for SUVs, personally, but to make a statement like that negates the wisdom of anything else said prior to it and you’d have to really convince me to consider anything you’d say afterwards.
CSA
I often drive the family TR6 in the summer and I also have a full-sized SUV…I’m curious to see what TR250468 makes of that 
“I feel like every SUV is out to kill me” ??? Get to a psychiatrist, seriously. Rocketman
Last March my new Honda CRV was hit and totaled. An in sidde curve along with snow banks conspired to the cause, plus a priest traveling too fast on a 50 mph road. in any case, I think I suffered from PTSD for months especially when pulling into traffic and at non-signalized intersections. It eventually fades, but even now 15 months later, i still get freaked at times.
Hang in there, it getts better. Just try to be cautious, not parinoid.
Bozo, You are one angry dude. Have you considered getting some help with your anger management?