My wife and I were barreling down a frozen gravel road in my Ford F150 when I hit a section of washboard bumps and the truck began to do a graceful 360 spin while continuing in the same direction. As our excursion from “normal flight” began and throughout the entire slow-motion pirouette, I barked, “Hang on…Hang on…Hang on…”
Miraculously, my trusty Ford stabilized after one perfect 360 and we continued down the road, still at the same speed, with Steve Inskeep still talking calmly on Morning Edition as if nothing whatsoever had happened. My wife, however, sat in stunned silence for several minutes before turning to me and saying, “HANG ON?”
That got me thinking and, from that day forward, I vowed that, no matter how dire or unexpected the emergency, if something bad was about to happen, I would always shout, “WATCH THIS!” instead of “Hang on!” or “Help!” or “Oh my Gawd!” or “Not again!”
Why? Because, if things by some miracle work out (like my high-speed 360 degree spin in a Ford F-150…) then I would forever look like a genius.
And, if they don’t? Well it won’t really matter, will it? And bystanders won’t be left with the memory of that haunting cry at the very end, “Not again!”
So remember, if anything bad is about to happen: train yourself to scream, WATCH THIS!"