GDD - Geographic Driving Disorder
A condition in which normally capable, competent drivers, when vacationing out of their normal area, become irrational idiots behind the wheel.
Typical symptoms include:
-Driving 25 in a 50 MPH zone.
-Turning right across lanes onto a side street.
-Stopping for green lights, then flooring it when they turn yellow.
They can sometimes be spotted by more obvious characteristics, like out-of-state plates. Sometimes the signals are more subtle, like the rental car bar code sticker on a side window. In particular, beware of brightly colored Ford Foci and new Kias of any color.
OCS (Old Car Syndrome) - This happens when the vehicle reaches 10 years of age or over 100,000 miles and you have to replace the parts on your car frequently. Most common for those who want to keep Old Reliable around for a while. Here is one example:
Year, Make and Model: 1984 Ford F-250 XL Diesel
Mileage: 360,000 (According to my dad)
The frequency of repairs: Dad was working on this thing almost every weekend. This thing was so worn down that everything was slowly breaking one by one.
I know that I will be experiencing this sydrome rather soon! My car is 9 years old and just turned over to 92,000 miles. LOL!
Suburban standoff, Escapade with an Escalade, Denali Denial, and Showdown behind the Silverado Saloon. Each describes the scene in the parking lot when I have stopped behind a late model GM SUV or truck because the reverse lights are automatically illuminated when the owner locks or unlocks the doors remotely. I think this happens on lots of GM cars, but I figure with these big vehicles if I can’t see the driver, they probably can’t see me. So I stand there like an idiot. When the lights go out or the owner climbs in, I realize it’s ok to go by and I give myself a mental dope-slap and say to myself, “Yukon walk by now.”
What I have become to everyone since I couldn’t resist butying a Jeep Wrangler last year with 48 easy payments: A Jeepskate.
Yes, I have a Subaru Outback also. I’ve noticed that when I am with other Subarus OutFront of the pack on a snowy road, we jockey for the position of being Subareme, or the Outback Infront.
Intractable - They forgot to sand this icy road.
Midasized - I just ran over an old muffler.
Bandag - Medical care for recapped tires.
Spelunking - My oil pan plug went all the way into the tank.
OFC (Old Fart Car). Any rear drive vehicle that has not changed style for some time. Usually has vinyl roof, “Opera Lights” on the side, bench seat, some have whitewall ties, very old ones hav 8-Track replaced with casette unit. Typical examples; Ford Crwon Vitoria, Grand Marquis, Lincoln Town Car, Buick Roadmaster, Park Avenue, etc.
Commonly driven by senior with white shoes, Vyella plaid shirt, and Blue Knight or Grecian Formua hair dressing. Can be Republican or Democrat, but resent “new stufff” such as i-pods, computers, and can be found equally at bingo halls or country club parking lots.
MANIPEDIGUZZLER: The Cadillac Escalades, Lincoln Navigators, and Chevy Suburbans that young mothers in the suburbs drive to their nail salon appointments.
ROLLS 'ROIDS: - A proctologic condition of psychologic etiology affecting those owned by a luxury car who spend their lives sitting on fine automotive leather because they know if they leave the car it will acquire body damage costing the price of a new Tata.
ever since I got my '99 mx-5 i occasionally experience “miata-culpa:” (n/ expl) a feeling of guilt deriving from either 1) making what prove to be unnecessary lane changes due to lack of ability to see what’s ahead, and or 2) from feeling shamelessly cute.