I want to choose the gear, but I want a computer to control the following distance on the highway. So, my ideal car would be a 5-door wagon with manual transmission and adaptive cruise control. Even better would be the same made around 2008 so I wouldn’t have to buy new. Does such a thing exist?
If it does exist you are looking at a Volvo, BMW, Audi, or MB. Very few cars have “adaptive” cruise, and likely fewer to none with a manual trans. Call dealers of high end luxury cars such as Cadillac and equivalent regarding availability of adaptive cruise.