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Applying Muppet Chaos Theory to Driving Styles

There is a new theory about personality types, and thankfully, it isn’t as difficult as understanding Descartes or Freud. Basically, the idea is that there are Chaos Muppets and Order Muppets, and which one you are is determined by which muppets you relate to. Check out the link.

Personally, I relate to Scooter. I like managing chaos into order, and I take pride when I do it well. Maybe I should have been a traffic cop.

So, the big question is which Muppet do you relate to in terms of your driving style?

I have multiple personality disorder. I have the most fun when I’m a Chaos Muppet, but when I’m driving I am definitely an Order Muppet. I am also an Order Muppet at work. OTOH, I enjoy work, so I must enjoy being an Order Muppet, too.

So which type are Statler & Waldorf?
They’re my kind of guys.
I heckle when I drive.

Order Muppet…

On my commute, I often find traffic moving in fits and starts - people race up to 55 mph with traffic clearly crawling less than a quarter mile ahead. While others race to get there only to slam on their brakes, I try to gauge my approach so as to minimize braking, under the theory that chain-reaction braking alone often leads to backups and if we all just moved calmly and orderly, we’ll avoid those issues and relieve many backups…

(note: I’m not talking about obstructing traffic by going slow - just about reasonable pacing to try to minimize braking and bring order out of chaos)

“I try to gauge my approach so as to minimize braking …”

Then you better do your braking in the right-hand lane. Otherwise I am whipping around you and getting back into the left-hand lane with 5 feet to spare.

@Mechaniker -

Yeah, I know you chaos types.

You’ll zip around me because I haven’t pulled up on the bumper of the vehicle in front of me quite fast enough, even though I’m still closing that gap at a good speed. Then you’ll end up slamming on your brakes because said gap wasn’t that big and only AFTER you pass do you seem to realize that the traffic is stopped. The real way to beat traffic waves is to minimize braking - note this DOESN’T mean obstructing traffic, but just anticipating that slowdown ahead and trying to brake as little and as calmly as possible - this alleviates the wave and helps remove the jam, thus letting EVERYONE move faster.

Meanwhile, by driving calmly, I end up passing you and beating you into downtown.

Yeah, I know your type. :slight_smile:

@wa7jos, my take on Statler & Waldorf is that they are chaos Muppets. They aren’t as chaotic as Animal, who would be the ultimate chaos Muppet, but I guess Statler & Waldorf are mildly chaotic.

My SO would tell you that I’m a chaos muppet worthy of Animal (who is by a very wide margin my favorite muppet anyway).

But I tend to switch to order-muppet when behind the wheel. I’m always going for more precision and more situational awareness. I think Animal’s ideal ride would be a bumper car. … Or a tank.

I dunno, I think I’m a situational muppet. Among order muppets I like to spread chaos, and among chaos like to spread order. I do like to arrange the salt on the right side of the pepper though and TP always has to hang the same way. When the chaos muppets took over at work, I just retired instead of fighting with them on how they were escalating costs and lowering efficiency. For hundreds of years though people have been trying to come up with simple theories to explain human behavior and methinks its just not that simple.

For hundreds of years though people have been trying to come up with simple theories to explain human behavior and methinks its just not that simple.
That's the beautiful thing about this theory. Muppets run the whole gamut of personalities.

I have an inner chaos Muppet - Cookie Monster.

@Bing
You are clearly a Chaos Muppet because you stir things up wherever you are. Keep up the good work.

" For hundreds of years though people have been trying to come up with simple theories to explain human behavior and methinks its just not that simple."

And I think that’s why I have that Multiple Muppet personality disorder.

Even Animal’s not the most chaotic Muppet. That honor goes to Crazy Harry.

Animal’s a drummer; he has to be at least orderly enough to keep a steady beat.

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