The solution to the rude drivers who are cutting us all off in traffic is my, yet to be manufactured or sponsored, invention. This revenge devise is mounted on top of your car as tastefully as possible for anything that is mounted on top of a car. It contains no explosives, chemicals, or ballistic type of weaponry. However, it is more powerful than any of these. As one wimp once said, "The pen (written word) is mightier than the sword.? He was obviously a journalist trying to avoid getting his butt kicked.
The devise is like those scrolling signs that you see at banks where a messages runs across it in lights like a ticker tape. The billboard and text in this case would be a single line wrapping all the way around for 360 degrees so as to be seen from all sides. It is connected to a key board inside the car where the drive could type in his messages. So, when you are cut off by some jerk on his cell phone, drifting across lanes, at a reduced speed because he is also chewing gum, you simply type in the appropriate admonishment like, “Hang up and drive.” Or, “How many cereal box tops did you send in to get your driver’s license, you dumb, explicative, explicative, explicative?” Or, you can be more affectionate, "Kiss my grits."
This message is displayed in red lights scrolling above and around the roof of your car. Think how awesome this would be at night; what about adding sound affects? For that matter, what about adding a loud speaker? Better yet, add a voice synthesizer, or voice altering devise, so even Richard Simmons (an actual person, I am not making him up) would come across sounding like Darth Vader (a fictional person played by an actual person, Denzel Jones).
Over the years, this has been my best solution. I have mellowed some after the rough years when I tried to mount ripping blades on my wheels, like the ones on the chariots in Ben Hur, and mounting large iron spikes on the grill of my Jeep. Those reduced my gas mileage and blocked the airflow through my radiator which tended to make my engine over heat. The authorities seemed to have no sense of humor or justice regarding these alternatives.