If the only tools in your box are WD40 & duct tape.
If it moves but shouldn’t…duct tape
if it doesn’t move but should…WD40
You KNOW that a roll of duct tape is the most important tool in your kit.
…you think tire rotation is a scam, after all the tires rotate plenty when you drive down the road!
Yuo believe someone who tells you you need a new flux capacitor.
If you have a current leak will you have a current puddle?
if it can?t be fixed with a hammer, I can?t fix it!
Uhhh… I knowed that… what kina foo’ you think I is?
If you can’t duc’ it, **** it. 
The 250 MPH tape. NASCAR approved 
someone mentions wheel and you think it’s a pasta shape.
Great Scott!
You Do Engine Overhauls By Adding A Pint Of… Engine Overhaul In A Can To The Oil !
You buy the stuff in the economy-size 55 gallon drum.
You Read That Most Car Problems Occur Within 25 Miles Of Home … So You Move !
…you think that Armour All Protectant really will protect your tires from picking up nails or screws.
…you use Armour All Protectant on the dash, and then, complain about the glare !
…if the only diagnostic help you give your tech is…“go drive my car” !
Don’t knock the duct tape. It allowed me to get to the nearest mechanic over 25 miles away when my radiator hose busted. I knew there was some reason I kept it in my glove box. But then I’m not a mechanic just don’t like being stranded in the middle of nowhere. So yes it is one of the important tools in my kit along with the plumber’s putty. LOL!
…you open the hood by prying it open with a screwdriver.
You know your engine is out of oil (you see the engine oil idiot light ON the dash) and wonder why the car won’t go!
You don’t have a dedicated drawer in the tool box full of OTC headache and stomach medicines with plenty of room for the doctor prescribed blood pressure and nerve stuff.
you’ve ever paid for a hat.