Not opening the door for you on dates is inexcusable. Why do you tolerate that?
Sorry, but I have to wonder why you’re dating this guy.
We’ll get back to that.
Not washing the car? Simple: He doesn’t care about the car, so he doesn’t wash it. That’s easy to understand. Why can’t you understand it?
To him it’s just a car; transportation, not a status symbol, not a means of impressing others, just a way to get from point A to point B. He doesn’t care about it. It’s a machine at his disposal. Why should he care about it?
Wash it? Why? It performs its function just as well, dirty or clean. What’s the point of washing a car if it works just as well when its dirty?
I’d love to read your answer(s) to these questions, but I’ll probably never have the opportunity.
Let’s get back the the main question; what the heck are you doing with this guy?
Totally self-absorbed comes to mind. Totally focused on his art/career. Does not seem to care about the world around him and takes the people in his life for granted.
Being self-absorbed does not necessarily come with the job. We belong to a philharmonic association and some of the musicians and the conductor are outstandingly sensitive human beings. I have also had the president of one of the largest electric utilites open the car door for me before he got in himself!
You have to decide for yourself whether this is the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Other than this one fault what’s he like? Is he neat and orderly otherwise or is he a complete slob? If so, can you put up with it for the rest of your life? These are the questions you have to ask yourself.
If your boyfriend is good at buying lunch for you and paying the rent, then what’s to complain about?
As was said, if you don’t like it, then wash it yourself. That is how a successful relationship works; where one falls short, the other fills in. I fix the car and my wife washes it.
If he does not have enough redeeming characteristics, then dump him; he is a loser. Get a dog (you may need several more) to grow old with!
You are all right in one way or another. As for me, maybe it’s the mother in me that wants him to care more about his car, and the woman in me that says, the knight doesn’t come without his armor polished. Probably old fashioned thinking, but I’m a romantic till the end…
Thank you all for sharing, totally enjoyed the comments. All of them made me think.
It’s a car. It works the same dirty or clean. Your boyfriend sounds smart. He knows who he is without depending on the image of the car.
Bad enough cars are the second most expensive purchase people make, so why spend more money keeping a silly “image” clean? Unless it makes the car last longer.
I?m betting that he probably doesn?t do the maintenance on the car either. By like you said cars are the second most expensive purchase, and he won?t keep care of it. He is hurting the value of the car, dirt in the seats and carpets causes them to wear out faster. Bird Droppings, bugs, tree sap, road tar, etc. damage the paint, and what?s worst with all the dirt you can?t see the damage until it?s too late.
You stated ?He knows who he is without depending on the image of the car.?
That has nothing to do with a clean car, a person whose image depends on a car tends to buy a car that says? Hey look at me I?m successful.? They tend to buy much more car then they need and also tend to buy the name.
A dirty car says ?I?m so lazy I won?t keep care of an expensive item.? That means he isn?t smart, in fact a person who won?t keep care of an expensive it is just foolish at best, dumb at worse.
If he doesn?t care enough to clean the car, open the door for you, etc. He?s probably not the man for you. Personally I still open the doors for my wife, 13+ years, in the winter I start her car, in the winter I?ll get her as close to the door as possible so she doesn?t have to walk in the cold, then I?ll park the car and I walk in the cold. Her friends remark that their husbands, boyfriends don?t do that for them.
If he?s not willing to keep care of an expensive item, what make you think he?ll take care of you?
Nothing gives. As Popeye says “I am what I am and that’s all what I am”. Questions: Does he shower and wash his clothes now and then? Is this headed for long-term relationship? He won’t change and you are wrong if you think you will make him change. Best find the type of guy that makes you comfortable to be with. All that chemical excitement is short-lived.