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Winter Proofing

My Grand Prix was parked during winters until I discovered the absolute best way to winterize it.

I fill the gas tank, check and correct the tire pressure, and make sure it’s got fresh oil and oil filter.
Then I take the shortest route to I-75 south and drive 1,500 miles and stay there all winter. Temperatures never get close to freezing and I’ve not seen a snowflake.

[sigh] Listen to Johnny Come Lately here, who finally discovered Florida.

Your humble-bragging needs more humble.


I vacationed here several times in years past, so I discovered it decades ago, but until you stay here and dodge a winter’s worth of freezing weather, you don’t fully appreciate it.

Sorry. Believe it or not I am being humble. When I wake up in paradise every morning I’m a teen-ager again and just can’t contain the excitement.

I have a son who retired and moved to Florida 6 years ago. When he first did it, he kept asking me when I was going to do it. My answer was always the same. 'When I get old like you." I would rather spend 10 Winters in Western NY that one Summer in Florida.

I sort of like Winters, no lawn cutting or gardening or outside painting, fixing or tree trimming. Clearing the snow off my driveway with my small or large snowblower takes about 10 minutes after winch my wife make hot chocolate. Our dog absolutely loves winter, every year it is lik she is a young pup when the cold weather comes.

Our dog was like that. She loved the snow. Cold and windy was her kind of day. When the wind was over 30 mph, she liked to stick her nose up and smell everything. The rest of us were much less enthusiastic.

After a few years away from sub-zero winters, you get used to Florida summers. Besides, pretty soon it will be just as hot in Western NY during July and August as it is in Florida. Sure, it feels hotter when you have high humidity, but the old architecture in Western NY doesn’t have central air conditioning built-in.

I do miss the changing seasons in Western NY, but I know the lake effect snow is worst when Lake Erie is unfrozen, and it’s been freezing for shorter and shorter periods each year. That means Buffalo and the surrounding area are going to be getting the worst of both worlds.

…and the taxes! Don’t get me started on the high tax burden in Western NY. I’d fantasize about owning a summer home on Lake Erie or Lake Ontario if it wasn’t for the corruption and high taxes you people deal with. Florida doesn’t have taxes; we have user fees. (Seriously, we don’t have a state income tax and we tax the heck out of the tourists to pay for what we need.)

Growing up in Buffalo, I remember looking forward to summer by the end of every winter, and looking forward to winter by the end of every summer, but every season got old too soon, and when winter gets old, it’s not billowy pristine white snow that collects on the tree branches and sparkles in the sun, it’s dirty slush that hides a layer of slippery ice and bare dead-looking trees that dominate the view from your picture window. Frankly, it depresses me now to see it.

You’ve got a point though. From late May to early September, Florida is a miserable place to be outdoors during the hottest part of the day. We go from our air conditioned homes to our air conditioned cars to our air conditioned offices, etc. …but the rest of the year (on days like today), we have sunny blue skies and palm trees gently blowing in the breeze, with highs in the 80s and lows in the 60s. It’s a sub-tropical paradise.

…and there are so many Western NY transplants living here that going to see the Bills play the Dolphins, Jaguars, or Buccaneers feels like going to a home game at Rich Stadium, but without the freezing cold.