I am assuming the ramp needle as you are calling it is the RPM gauge that tells you what rpms the engine is turning??
Stay with me hear, I bounce around in thought a lot… lol
I have always driven all my engines hard, some more than others, the engines typically like being in the power band more when up shifting, shifting at higher rpms, that is the pull you are feeling, the engine is happy in a way…
What you have to make sure of, is the engine/trans built well to begin with? Does the engine have good oil flow/pressure at the higher rpms, oil level full and in good shape?
Now it is not a race car and meant to always be driven like it is, but if at operating temp you want to play getting on the onramp every morning, go for it…
The killer of a transmission if built correctly is heat and clutch slippage (which causes heat), so in sport mode as long as the atf is in good shape and you are not over heating it, it is ok to run in sport mode… I drive my Tacoma around in ECT Power mode to raise the shift points and keep the rpms up a little, but that engine likes the 2000 rpms and up when shifting, but I would not run it constantly at 5000 rpms when not loaded either, cause it will build up more heat that away…
So it is OK to paddle shift and run it up to higher rpms (close to/or red line) while you are accelerating but you also need to be putting the gas pedal down hard when hitting those high rpms, DON’T just get up to speed and leave it in a lower gear leaving the rpms way high with only barely giving it any gas while cruising down the road, that is what is hard on them, I don’t like to run an engine over 3000 rpms with light throttle pressure and no load on it, the engine needs to be under a load (accelerating)… Once the engine stops pulling hard, it is no longer happy, and it is not happy at high rpms with light throttle pressure…
Now you also need to learn and know at what rpms you can down shift, if the computer says it is unsafe, then STOP doing it, and don’t be down shifting at higher rpms when slowing down.
The hold/pulling back or whatever you are feeling is the transmission using the sprag for engine braking, it uses the over running clutch/sprag (it is a one way free wheel clutch) in the transmission, and it will only rotate one way period…
Your transmission also uses the gas pedal % input etc to adjust line pressure for higher clutch holding pressures etc, and if you are not putting your foot to the floor while at high rpms, then you can damage the trans, so again, it is ok to paddle shift, just once you are at speed, go to 6th gear or whatever, just let the rpms drop below to like 2500 rpms or less…
So as long as I am accelerating, I will shift at high rpms, but once at speed, I hit high gear… I don’t down shift while slowing down unless the rpms are very low, my fun car will bark the tires if I down shift to early into 1st, not good for the drive line when not loaded, I am normally almost to a stop before down shifting…
Now if I am putting along and need to speed up really fast, then I know what gear by the speed I am at, that I can downshift to…
Example, I red line (in my fun car) in 1st at 40mph, in 2nd around 80mph, so if I am doing 50 mph in 3rd, I know I can safely downshift to 2nd with my foot to the floor, but I am going way to fast to down shift to 1st, but it will, and it would instantly slow the rear tires to 40mph or less while bouncing off the rev limiter and could cause the car to go into a spin, basically like locking up the rear tires, luckily for you your TCM will not let you do that, but that is what you are trying to do when you downshift at to high of an rpm…
My fun car has an automatic that no longer has any automatic function for shifting gears, I have to manually do all the shifting, and it WILL shift at any speed I shift it to no matter the damage it would cause… So it will up/down shift at any speed, so I have to know what speed I can up/down shift to before I do it…
So only downshift if speeding up, like to pass another car, or wait until your rpms will be very low when you downshift, while slowing down… You have brakes for a reason… When driving normal, like a state trooper is watching you, just leave it in the normal automatic mode…