In 1981, the public utility I worked for started getting serious about fuel efficiency, so I had to give up my tattered but beloved company car, a '76 Gran Torino wagon, with its 351 V8. In its place, I was issued a shiny new '81 Ford Fairmont station wagon. Now, I’ve always maintained that the BEST car is a FREE car, and I didn’t even have to pay for the gas… But still, the Fairmont was so crummy that sometimes I’d load up my personal car and work out of it instead. Things broke on that Fairmont that had never broken on any clunker I’d owned before… The tailgate came off (!) as did the right rear wheel, two of the doors decided to not open without much sleight-of-hand, HVAC controls became mostly decorative, wiper motor, power steering pump, even the master cylinder failed, causing me to have to drive to a dealership using only the foot-operated parking brake, left hand modulating the release handle (which worked just fine, oddly enough.)
Once cold, wet winter evening, I was leaving a power plant for the day. When I started the car, it backfired loudly and stalled. I was too tired to care why… so I cranked it again, and it eventually started. I drove to the plant gate and had to stop for a routine vehicle search. I unlocked the doors, popped the hood, and waited for the guard to do his thing. He lifted the hood, then slowly lowered it. He came around to my side and rapped his knuckles on the window… I rolled it down.
He said to me “Uh… do you know that your car’s on fire?”
I jumped out, ran around front, and lifted the hood. Yep. Just as reported. Bright flames engulfed the engine compartment. I got back in, got it started (!) again, and hood still up, pulled it over to the gravel staging area next to the guardhouse. Somebody showed up with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames, but not before the car was effectively totalled. As I waited in the guardhouse for one of my coworkers to pick me up, the guard said “sorry about your car, buddy.”
“Don’t be,” I told him. “If the car’s really a goner, this could turn out to be a good day after all.”
That backfire was the EGR valve exploding, and when it blew, it tore out the fuel line to the carburetor. Whole underhood area got sprayed with gas, which quickly found an ignition source. Our Fleet Operations did not fix the car. It sat, charred and sooty, behind the garage for several months before they decided to junk it. I ordered an '85 Econoline 350 Diesel van, which covered 261,000 miles over nine years, needing only an injector pump and a starter motor.
My Ford wagon went down in company folklore as the “Molotov Fairmont.”