Lea…suck it up and stop complaining. You’re getting three squares and keeping Tom and Ray employed in these depressed times with engineering degrees that haven’t helped them one hoot at being counselors. They could be arrested for practicing without a license and just want the rest of us as company in their padded cells.
Please don’t contribute to these deranged plots and their feelings of grandeur.
I was shocked when I heard that Lea was so near to where I am now, and as a student at University of Massachusetts Amherst, I have also been feeling the same way. I also am of the kind who is accustomed to living on the water (though I know a much dirtier harbor, aka Boston), and I was highly amused by your responses.
Recently my friends and I were theorizing on the distinct feelings of depression that are coming around this time of year, and I have a question: Seen any sunlight lately? it’s supposed to make you feel better (in some complex vitamin-forming way that you’d have to take a Biology course to understand).
I also suggest that you take a little time to just sit back in a place where you feel comfortable and safe, and simply relax. It definitely helps take the edge off for a while. re-read a book you especially liked while sipping your particularly favorite soda. just do something that has to do with what you really like, and all of a sudden you feel better about sitting for hours doing homework.
As for the “A’s are overrated,” I was highly amused, and thrown. I’d always been told that there was nothing acceptable under a B+, which made life . . . stressful. but hearing that B’s are okay, I suddenly feel as though my own chances of living through the rest of this semester just skyrocketed. Thanks.
Leah! You are not grown up yet!!! College is the PERFECT transition, and if you quit now, it will be much more stressful to make it in the world without friends, teachers, activities, fun for four years first.
I completely agree to look for the awesome side of college–relax–if you are a good student, your grades will be fine. But this is one of the only times in your life you will be with so many other people your age, no parents, not quite adults, not too much responsibilities, and it really should be lived up!!!
Later, things aren’t so bad either. Life really opens up with college, and you will not be doing one thing for the rest of your life, so enjoy college, travel if you can later, get a job that pays the bills, have some kids, train horses, just do it all 
Life’s too short to see it as a huge responsibility.
For those who are interested, please visit www.leafrey.com.
My daughter is at Umass Amherst and has been horribly homesick most of the semester. But it’s getting better and it’s just takes time to get used to the surroundings and make it feel more like home. I agree with the B’s. Only the first job I ever applied for right out of college ever asked me for my transcripts. Since then no one has even looked at them and the grades are irrelevant at this point. Have some fun make some friends, you can do that and get good grades. Best wishes to Lea.
I’m sorry, I haven’t read all the previous posts…I think my short attention span comes from listening to the radio for too long.
Anyhow, is Lea the gal they suggested “Quit school and come work for us” to?
Hey!
I need a job…and I never even went to college!!
Is that all it takes to work for those guys is quitting school?!?!
I’ll go do that right now!
I am so glad that car talk exists because I find myself in a very similar situation like Leas. Just that I am 28, about to graduate from law school and living in Germany where the educational system is a lot more rigid. Although I started to listen to car talk about a good year since NPR went on the air in Berlin it helped getting through many hours of severe depression. And still continues to do so. What worries me the most is that I seem to have lost joy in life and I wonder if it’ll ever come back as one of my strong interpersonal skills always used to be charisma. It seems that I am lost finding an answer to how to live this life in happiness and seeing a sense in it. I realized that law was the wrong thing for me but there isn’t much other than being a radio/tv show host and surfing thats fun to me in life. But on the other hand that seems not reasonable enough. While I hope to pass my exams this spring I have found joy in the idea of traveling to Australia to take advantage of their work & travel visa. Maybe this will help finding my way into life.
I completely agree with Tom and Ray’s advice. Life is for living, not necessarily studying. The linchpin question is: What are you living for? You can’t know what path to take unless you know what you’re trying to get at the end of it. Start from the end goal and work backwards. It’s the best way formulate the most efficient way to get somewhere and it helps avoid the risk of choosing a harder or more expensive path than is necessary.
When I started my college career, I went to a school I thought I’d like in the mountains of NC. I quickly found that the town was too small for me and I wasn’t getting anything there that I couldn’t get better elsewhere. I knew I wanted something bigger, with more opportunities for interaction and development, so I transfered out to a bigger school in a bigger and more metropolitan part of the state. At the new school, I also decided to reorganize my life a bit. I never took more than 12 hrs a semester. With only 4 classes, I was able to focus more attention on each, but I also had time in the day to work and for a social life. My work was a middle school sports coach. It provided me a lot of balance. I got money, exercise, several hours in the sun each day, and constant exposure to what it’s like to be a kid. I took classes in the summer too, but I was still able to get two majors and a minor done in 5 years. I struck a balance that worked for me between education, work, and play.
I also agree on not taking notes. I never took notes either. I came to every class, paid attention, and participated more in class and in the recitation sections than my note-taking peers. Not taking notes allowed me to think critically about what the professor was saying instead of putting all my focus into recording every word that came out of their mouth. Right now I am still not a very good note taker in group meetings, but I have very strong critical thinking/analysis skills. Of the two, I think I got the better set of skills.
Don’t make college any harder than it needs to be. That time in your life is not meant to be 100% focused on higher education. There are lots of other life skills you’ll learn in that time that will serve you better than most of the classes you’ll take. You don’t need to go to an expenisve private school and get straight A’s to succeed in this world. It all depends on what your goals are. Don’t needlessly shell out gobs of money, time, and stress unnecessarily. Invest only what you have to in order to achieve your goals, and invest the rest of your money, time, and care into enjoying the other opportunities open to you.
Goals are important, they keep you on a track and help you get the things you want out of life that require some planning, but don’t be too goal-oriented. Life is a journey, not a destination. I think Ferris Bueler said it best, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Take Tom and Ray’s advice. Skip a few classes. Smell some roses.
Just to add my 2 cents… 30+ years ago I buckled down in engineering school, studied very hard, got mostly A’s, and was miserable. There was so much to do to live life, both school (club) related and outside (co-eds at nearby schools), but I had my nose to the grindstone. Sure, I got a good job (until I was laid off), but employers don’t just look at grades – they want to see someone well-rounded. Not necessarily a party animal (although they often make good sales/marketing types), but someone who knows how to talk to others, work with others, and make connections. Academic success shows that you have brains and work hard, but it has to be balanced with some social life. Otherwise, they know you’ll just burn out at a young age, and in the mean time you’ll be difficult to work with. If you have to bury your head in your books full time, with no social life, you may be in over your head. Try to strike a balance – maybe you won’t have a 4.0 GPA, but who’s going to give a damn about that if you can’t make smalltalk with the interviewer?
I’m a bit late to this topic and after finally catching up on the podcast, I completely agree with ‘A’ being overrated. In real ‘working’ world, your letter grade means nothing if you can’t adjust to your work surroundings and be productive.
If you are the type that like to measure your personal success with letter grades and trophies, it’s good if it comes naturally to you. Otherwise it’s not worth stressing yourself to the breaking point. You are who you are, don’t measure yourself in grades.
For the record I graduated college with C+… life is not a failure because you get low grades…it’s only a failure if you don’t continue to apply yourself and learn as a student of life.
Lea–>
i ALSO go to Mount Holyoke! AND surprisingly i’m from the Puget Sound area!
i listen to the carguys EVERY weekend on saturday morning, and when i heard your first call a couple months ago i was DESPERATE to meet you! I’m happy to know your back in washington, and just wanted to let you know that i can’t WAIT to transfer to the UW this fall. Mount Holyoke is a wonderful college, but it’s not enough to keep me from the majestic landscape and mystery of my home state!
perhaps we will meet in the halls of UW next year,
Sidney Mattocks
For Lea:
The main thing is to feel emotion, to love, to hope, to quiver, to live.
—Robert Henri