My Dad did a really clever thing when I learned to drive. I had to get my learner’s permit as soon as I turned 15. Then after some basic lessons in parking lots etc., he made me drive EVERY time we went anywhere in the car for the entire year until I got my real license at 16. It got really annoying, but I think it was really smart.
He had an entire year to look over my shoulder while the newness/excitement wore off before I was actually allowed to drive alone. By 16, his reminders of what was dangerous and stupid, etc., were permanently imprinted on my memory when I did certain things while driving. I think kids who do stupid things partially do so out of ignorance and not having had anyone to remind them what is dangerous, the 100 times necessary to make it a stronger association than what is cool and fun.
Driving isn’t just about learning something and practicing until you can do it, it’s about forming habits. You don’t explicitly think about what you’re doing while driving most of the time. If you have enough time to form habits while a parent is watching - like leaving lots of room between you and the car in front of you - after a year you do that automatically. If a kid just learns a rule and can answer a question on a test, “stay N feet behind the car in front,” even if they’ve practiced it some, it doesn’t mean they will actually do it, as some rules are totally counter to human nature and counter to what is exciting and fun. When they are showing off with their new license and driving with their friends, they will instead form bad habits. So in this sense I think what my Dad did was super smart and I would recommend it to any parent.
the best advice that I can give to teen drivers ( especially those sixteen-year-olds just getting licesensed ) would be to keep your foot out of the carburetor/fuel-injector pump, especially when going through smaller Southern towns!
Forget about handing over the keys at age 16. They are NOT ready at that age.
Try to find an advanced course, post-basic drivers ed., that teaches emergency maneuvers. Better to practice stopping on wet roads and sudden swerves in a nice empty parking lot than on a road.
Don’t allow passengers before the kid has lots of hours with only a parent on board. A carload of friends plus an inexperienced driver can be deadly.
Drive the car. When in doubt, when your friends are wrestling in the back, when your girlfriend is messing with the “radio”, when your friends are talking about something very interesting, always “DRIVE THE CAR.”
Well, I do have a whole lot to say to parents of teen drivers. PLEASE teach them how to MERGE into traffic! There are so many people out on the road that do not know how to merge onto the highway (freeway, expressway, or whatever you want to call it). And the problem is even worse when there is an 18-wheeler (me) in the lane. People PANIC!!! I would also STRONGLY ENCOURAGE all drivers of any experience level to learn the SMITH SYSTEM. It is taught to all truck drivers and, I feel, should be taught to all drivers. PERIOD. There are 5 “keys” to the Smith System, look it up and learn them, and most importantly PRACTICE them in your day to day driving.
THIS AIN"T NO VIDEO GAME! I learned the first night out with my car that I couldn’t really do the stuff I would see on TV and in the movies.
I see far too many young folks getting behind the wheel thinking they can drive a real car just like they do when they’re playing video games… aggressive driving will win the gane for you nearly every time, but it IS NOT the way to go when the wheels are real.
I tell them the good advice I was given when I started riding a motorcycle on the street: be paranoid! Constantly try to imagine what’s the worst, most stupid, most dangerous thing a driver around you might do, and be ready with how you would handle it.
The mistake many new drivers make is expecting everyone else to play by the rules. Experienced drivers know better - the roads are filled with knuckleheads, some of whom aren’t even your relatives.
So be paranoid, constantly, and think through scenarios of people making a left turn from the right lane, swerving from the fast lane to get to an exit, stopping suddenly, swerving in to a new lane without looking, etc. This kind of scenario planning helps them to think through how they would handle an emergency situation, and have a plan in place when it happens, instead of freezing up.
It also makes them keep scaring themselves, a good way to make a teenager act more like they would if a parent or other semi-responsible adult were present.
There are a number of good things mentioned but there is no substitute for getting as many hours as possible behind the wheel with an experienced driver prior to driving on their own. make sure they learn good habits behind the wheel. The biggest is maintaing enough spacing ( cars in front, back and coming up to intersections) Assume that the other drivers are going to make mistakes. Make them aware of the dangers of using cell phones,smoking and driving, adjusting gadgets in the car and just talking to others in the vehicle. Have them drive with minimal use of the brakes. This teaches them to keep the vehicle under control. Start slowing down for intersectiosn well ahead of the actual stop. Drive without looking at speedometer but maintain speed at a given speed limit - Again this gives them a sense of the vehicle speed After they get their license limit the number of friends for the intial driving experience. For example: by themselves for the first few weeks, then with 1 friend and then maybe two etc. The influence and distraction of friends is one of the main reasons for accidents - hope this helps
My advice? Muster all the responsibility you can come up with and TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. It is literally life and death for not only the teen but those with whom he or she shares the road. Keep in mind always that IT IS A PRIVILEDGE, NOT A RIGHT, and must always be treated that way. Always, as in every second behind the wheel. Eyes on the road, hands on the wheel, mind on the task. No heavy conversations with friends and ESPECIALLY NO CELL PHONES! The bulk of car control can be mastered and relegated to the brain stem fairly quickly. Driving school training can refine your ability and raise skill levels to a high point, but it can all be lost in a moment of inattention with tragic results. And keep in mind that there is always more to learn. Yes, ATTITUDE is the critical component of safe driving.
Speeding kills! Whenever you want to, think of how long it would take to get anywhere walking, biking, or on the bus. Getting caught will get a learner’s permit or provisional license suspended! Enjoy the speed limit-faster than the ankle ‘express’.
When I was a teen driver, my dad and my ancient uncles had lots of advice. I thought “Yeah, right. Whatever.” It’s funny how dumb you think they are until you get to be that old. One uncle told me “You can kill somebody easier with a car than you can with a gun”. Another said “The lives of your passengers are literally in your hands.” But the coup de gras came from my dad. “Of course I’ll always love you, but if you drive like a knucklehead and wreck my car, don’t bother coming home”.
Some great info here folks! I’d like to add a few things-
don’t wait until their teenagers to get them familiar with driving. Get them driving a golf cart when they’re 8 and 9, take them and get them driving go carts, bumper cars (do they still exist?), let your kid sit on your lap and steer while you drive down a long deserted driveway. Get them “feeling” the pedals, the power, what the effects of gravity are, inertia, etc.
be the kind of driver you want your children to be. If they see YOU being a courteous, respectful, attentive driver, they’ll be more likely to be that way. Even when they’re young, explain WHY you put the blinker on, what the road signs mean, etc. If they see you on the cell phone, eating, putting on your makeup, reading the paper and picking your nose… well…
Know your children’s friends. Talk to those friends’ parents. See if you can’t get a group discount for one of those driving courses at the track (like the BMW driving school)- if you like the other parents and their driving ethics, enlist their help to teach your children good driving habits, and you do the same for their children.
definitely teach your children to drive a stick shift. It might save their lives. They should also learn to drive a variety of vehicles, and even know how to tow a trailer.
when teaching your children to drive a stick, see if you can find one with a clutch that’s about to go. For one, they won’t be able to mess it up too badly (the clutch has to be replaced anyway), for another they’ll really have to learn to feel what’s left of the clutch…
Hope this forum and Tom & Ray (of course) can help create a wonderful and safe new generation of drivers.
I have taught a few teenagers to drive, and here are a few tips I have not really seen or heard anywhere:
(1) when the student is behind the wheel and you are riding shotgun, don’t assume that they notice critical details like stop signs, red lights, cars in the blind spot, etc., or that they will react appropriately, such as yielding to oncoming traffic while attempting a left turn. You need to mention any of these things and more, until you are sure the student is an attentive person with good judgment. You are there to teach, not simply to wait until they make a mistake and try to correct them. You have to say, “red light,” “slow down for the curve,” “watch for the car waiting to exit the parking lot,” etc. It’s not nagging, it’s teaching the attention skills and the decision making that safe driving requires.
(2) Don’t change lanes when approaching an intersection, entrance ramp or a driveway or any spot where another driver may be about to turn or move into traffic. This is because that driver may be planning their next move based on where you are.
(3) The more general statement of (2) is: always anticipate what might happen.
(4) Use cruise control only for very sparse traffic, out on the open highway. Don’t use it if the road is curving much, because you should be slowing down to a speed that is appropriate for the curve. And don’t use it if you are tired- it just makes it easier to fall asleep at the wheel.
My friend lost her beautiful daughter in a crash, she was in the back seat. Teen driver and others on the car didn’t smoke, didn’t do drugs, didn’t drink, but my lovely friend’s daughter was the only one not wearing a seatbelt.
After our son totaled his second car in just under a year we were tempted to take away the keys forever. However, then we would just be delaying his inevitable driving. The first wreck he was on his way to school and going about 60 mph down a winding 2 lane asphalt road lined with trees, deer and turkeys, and with no shoulder. He rolled his car that time, and walked away without even a scratch thanks to seatbelts. He didn’t get a speeding ticket because there was no posted speed limit and since it was a rural road in MT it was technically 70 mph. It is now posted at 25 mph, which all the neighbors resent. The second wreck was during the first real snowstorm and occurred on the way home from school. He was going the posted speed limit, but everyone else knew enough to slow down about 15 mph. Someone made a bad lane change in front of him and then they each changed lanes several times trying to out guess the other before colliding. Neither of them got a ticket, since each had errored.
What we did with our 4.0 GPA wonderful son was to get a black box. This cost about $270. We installed it easily. It makes a truly obnoxious noise if he starts too fast, stops too fast, corners too fast, or exceeds the chosen maximum speed. It gets louder if the radio is turned up trying to drown it out. Even better it records the speed minute to minute on a flash stick that can easily be removed so you can check daily what the car has been up to. When it was first installed Jeffrey set it off frequently and was grounded frequently. It didn’t take long at all for him to learn to drive without setting it off. That was 3 years ago. He has not had another accident, and he is graduating as valdictorian this spring. He was the one who suggested the black box.
Apparently black boxes have been around for years to track how truck drivers are driving. Only recently have they been finding a new use with teen age drivers. In some places they are being used in drivers education classes. I HIGHLY recommend that every teen start with one BEFORE the first wreck; not everyone is as lucky as Jeffrey has been. Montanahorses
My wonderful sons make sure that THEY are the voice on the other end of the phone when anything goes wrong – in other words, THEY call me, not the officer, parents of other kids involved, etc. It means the world to me to hear their actual voices telling me about the accident, because I instantly know they are alive. Seems like a minor detail but it has kept my heart in my chest where it belongs. Luckily they have been able to be the caller in each incident, even when the car was totaled, for which I am very grateful.
Another thing these thoughtful young men do is to call me between 12 midnight & 1 am just to let me know what’s happening. I don’t mind if they are staying out a bit late as long as we connect before I go to sleep (otherwise, I’m not going to sleep at all!).
How did I get so lucky as to have such caring sons? They definitely understand that the pre-emptive effort to reassure Mom saves them from lots of hysterical reactions later…Not a driving tip so much as a parent-handling tip!
Having launced two teens, I’d advise using every ‘learners’ opportunity to teach & give them experience.
We did minimal training w/ 1st child and 3 cars met their demise before our daughter was 25 years old.
We spent more time w/ 2nd child during learners period. He has not had a wreck and friends say he’s one of the safest driver among his peer group.
When I was learning to drive, one of the most impactful lessons was a film shown by the FL Hwy Patrol (1966 - 68 ??) at one of our assemblies. Key take-aways I had were: 1) watch the big picture (look beyond the hood ornament - do they still have those?) to be able to avoid trouble that may develop ahead 2) match surrounding traffic (not excessively faster or slower than pace of neighbors. I personally have issues w/ slow drivers in the left half of the lanes… think they cause as much or more trouble as speeders) and 3) always have an ‘escape plan’ (i.e. minimize time driving directly adjacecnt to other vehicles or barriers where you don’t have an option if something suddenly obstructs the road ahead)
Constantly look ahead at other cars and other lanes. Staying on the road is easy. Avoiding an accident is hard. I got in accident what I was 17, but haven’t had one in 20 years since. Not even a bump.
Leave lots of space in front of you. The front of the car is your responsibility. The back of the car is the responsibility of the guy behind you. If you drive in New England and people are NOT cutting in front of you, then you aren’t leaving enough space (seriously).
Learn to drive a stick. You can get better cheaper cars. And better mileage. And none of your friends will ask to borrow your car which means you don’t have to sound like the bad guy (did I mention that lending your car to anyone else under 25 is moronic – I got my first car totalled by my 24-year-old uncle). Also, you can’t talk on a cell phone while driving a stick, and that’s a good thing.