So you are for all practical purposes convinced! At least the wife realizes it is unnecessary and a rather ignorant and quite possibly damaging habit.
OK, will someone please convince my wife not to shift the car into drive while it is still going into reverse anyway? Thats what brakes are for I think but I’m getting more confused as time goes on. I know its best to just do what the wife says but still I think its hard on the transmission. Don’t take me too seriously at this hour but it is best not to upset the wife with irritating behavior.
Your wife’s habit of shifting the transmission into D while the car is still rolling in reverse places a load on the drivetrain beyond what the torque converter is designed to absorb. It’s harmful. She might get away with it without damage, but it introduces the very real possibility of premature transmission failure.
Frankly, it seems hypocritical of her to be criticizing you for shifting into neutral at stoplights while herself operating the car as you described. Being concerned about premature wear and/or damage to the transmission should apply to both actions. Is there a “backstory” here?
Don’t know if my post will convince her. Here’s hoping it does.
TSM, Different poster. Randy Pedigo is the one who shifts to neural at a red light. Bing is the one who’s wife shifts into D while the car is still going backward. I think they should all just go back to manual transmissions!
The same, No back story. I don’t shift into neutral at stop lights, that’s someone else. As far as shifting into drive while still going in reverse, I don’t know how often she does it but I have seen it a couple times. Her dad used to do the same thing if you know how that goes.
yes bing! we have a hard drive to back out of because of traffic. I can t seem to convince her that she will destroy our tranny by being in a hurry. let darn car stop first!!! I think she already damaged it
No convincing some people. He might save $0.01, he’s probably risking $$$$, but his opinion is priceless.
Sorry guys. My bad.
There’s no way you’ll convince that woman, bing, without an objective third party, preferably from the mechanic who will, inevitably, replace that transmission. When my car was new, it had been scratched by bushes and had the bumper cover torn off by my wife. Stupidly, I would correct her in front of company and she didn’t appreciate that. Eventually, I just accepted that she will break things and her driving gradually improved, through learning by mistakes and examples. She can now back a car into parking stalls and narrow alleys unassisted, unlike some men in smaller cars than ours. There are things she does behind the wheel that I still don’t like, such as not rev matching and lugging the engine, but you just can’t expect everyone to be professionals.
Perhaps true, chunky, but remember that you didn’t HIRE her, you MARRIED her!! 
Even more of a reason to not expect your spouse to treat equipments like a professional. Let the mistake go and repair as necessary
I think Bing has the best answer. Most automatics give you a little slam when you put it into gear.