If you're in a car wreck, USAA spokeswoman Rebecca Hirsch recommends "don't apologize after an accident -- even if you think you're at fault. An apology could be used against you later, regardless of whether you were entirely to blame."
I’ve heard this more than once before. Is there anybody with more experience with traffic law and insurance companies than I who could explain the logic behind “never say you’re sorry?”
Since when has saying “sorry” been an admission of culpability? Literally, you are expressing an empathic emotion–distress at another’s misfortune. (This stands in direct contrast to schadenfreue, a German term for delight in another’s misfortune.) Sure, ONE possible reason to feel emphatic sorrow is perceived responsibility for causing said sorrow, but there are plenty of other possible causes of this emotion.
I can be sorrowful for an accident I didn’t cause; I can be gleeful for an accident I did cause. I can (truthfully) say I’m sorry Miley Cyrus was ever born–is this somehow a paternity claim?
The reason for not saying you’re sorry is simply because that could be used against you in a case later on. A judge and jury could very well take “sorry” to mean fault even if that’s not the case. An opposing attorney could have a field day with that one word.
A sticky point could be if injuries occur that are due to a wreck and don’t surface until later.
About 5 years ago my daughter was rear-ended while sitting at a red light. The vehicle that hit her was moving slow (10-15 MPH) and minimal damage was done. No harm no foul supposedly.
A few weeks later my daughter was tired of the recurring headaches and went to see a doctor who then referred her on to some neurologists and a spine hospital.
The daughter has a neck injury that they do not recommend surgery on at this time so she has to live with chronic headaches, neck pains, a mountain of specialists and MRIs, along with something in the neighborhood of 20 grand in pain shots alone up to this point.
Okay, so you look enraged and possibly violent, and I say, “Gee, I’m sorry” [that you’re about to have a coronary and that vein in your neck is sticking out]…with the bracketed part unsaid. If you mistakenly interpret that to mean “Gee, I’m sorry” [that I caused the wreck]…well, that’s on you for reading something into my statement that I never said.
I would always say sorry, to be polite, and to defuse the situation, to the other party alone. If I ever wound up it court, I’d say a) Gee, did anybody else hear that? and b) Even IF I said that–so what?
I don’t know if my agent has specifically said not to say you are sorry, but the idea is not to say anything that could be used against you later. If you’ve ever been under the bright lights, you know that anything you say, regardless of how innocent and well meaning it is, can and will be used against you. It is simply better to just gather all of the facts, make sure any injuries are attended to, exchange information, and let the pros handle the rest.
Now I have been warned about things like waving someone on, thus giving them right of way. If you do that, and someone else hits them, you can be held liable for it. I hate it when people wave me on when I am yielding to them. It puts me in an awkward position of forcing me to go when I don’t want to. Especially to pedestrians. In Minnesota we have a law to yield to pedestrians in cross walks but not in the middle of the street. Drives me nuts if I’m crossing the street in the middle and the do gooder type wants to stop to let me cross, not realizing that the other lanes of traffic aren’t stopping.
@meanjoe75fan
I wholeheartedly agree. I think it’s just a case of semantics. Appologizig for something all depends upon what you are applogizing for. If it’s a statement not written into record and just hearsay, you have little worry about. “I am sorry we got into this accident " is a far cry from saying " I am sorry for causing this accident” which is what I think you were saying. That you might be sorry Miley Cyrus was ever born (truthfully) is your statement and yours alone. As a former referee, I have heard worse directed at me after a call so I can’t identify quite with your sentiments about Miley C. Are you trying to tell us you “knew” her mother. ;=)
Your own insurance company has the obligation to defend you but you have the obligation to cooperate with their defense. So I’d just have a conversation with your own agent at your next over 50 driving class, or during your annual check up if you’re too young for the class.