“I Needed An Appropriate Outlet For My Rage, So I Thought: ‘That Bastard Ripped My Heart Out; I Think I’ll Rip A Stump Out’,” Says Mother Of Two.
An unnamed woman in her late 40s successfully ripped a small Yew stump out late Friday afternoon, damaging the latch on her minivan’s back door.
No other inanimate object was hurt.
In a statement to the press, the woman said, “Trust me, this was the safest and sanest idea that I had that day. All of my other ideas necessitated a lot of cleanup with bleach, and I’m too tired to mop up any more messy body fluids. Now, all I have to deal with is a door that won’t close.”
When pressed, the woman admitted that her fury was misdirected; it stemmed from a failed 20-year marriage, no career, no money, and the realization that an extremely painful year-long pelvic infection had been caused by her ex-husband’s prolific frolics with an Asian prostitute named “Roni”.
“I know it wasn’t the van’s fault that my former husband is a diseased man-whore, but somehow, it all made sense at the time - I mean, he did text me that he was abandoning me for his motorcycle, and somehow the whole motorcycle/car/minivan thing fused into one concept in my head. I never have really liked anything with a motor. And it felt so good when that stump finally broke free…although I have to say that perhaps attaching the tow chain to the U-shaped latch thingy on the back floor of the minivan wasn’t such a sound idea.”
The woman is now contemplating further anger management in the form of taking a hammer to the U-shaped latch; in the meanwhile, opinions as to how to fix the latch without breaking the bank can be posted to the address below.
I pulled a stump out by attaching the tow chain to the latch on the bottom of the van’s back floor. The U-shaped metal piece that sticks up from the floor, just inside the rubber door lining, which the hatchback (minivan’s rear door) latch snaps onto. The U-shaped piece of metal doesn’t look damaged, but the door won’t latch.
In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to do. But it’s done now; any ideas?
An old mechanic told me to ‘beat it to fit and paint it to match’. Basically, the pounding from the chain pushed the latch out of alignment. Unless there is an adjustment to realign the latch, something will need to be pounded back into alignment.
Or replaced, as most bent latches are.
And I sincerely tip my hat to you for taking your rage out in a safe way. A punching bag might be a good investment for you. It’s a great way to take out rage.
take a hammer and tap it back in the opposite direction until it latches again. but check and make sure the fasteners are still secure. or replace it if that won t work.
did you see smokey and the bandit?
remember when the bikers hurt snowballs dog?
you did good not to take that route!
hang in here. maybe get a dog or cat. that and the lord helped me when my life fell apart.
things are now better than they have ever been for me and mine. I thought all was lost.
I was blind but now I see
I really believe that studies show that physical aggression does not release anger but increases it. Physical activity such as running or exercise yes, but I never recommend someone physically taking their anger out on something. At any rate bang it back into shape again as best you can or pay someone.
@mitchelist …are you perhaps a writer by profession? You have a great style and could easily write a column or articles for a newspaper. In any regard…take a hammer to the latch until it works again or just replace it.
“An unnamed woman in her late 40s successfully ripped a small Yew stump out late Friday afternoon, damaging the latch on her minivan’s back door”.
This sounds like something I would do, but not in anger. I was fencing in a 4 acre pasture and had been using my neighbor’s tractor to stretch the fence. When I was ready to stretch the last side of the pasture, I couldn’t start my neighbor’s tractor–the battery was dead (we had a trade agreement. He could use my pickup truck and I could use his tractor). As I was thinking about whether to take the battery somewhere and have it recharged or try to get a vehicle close enough to jump the battery, I decided to try to use my pickup truck to stretch the fence. My truck was a 1950 Chevrolet 3800 (one ton) with an extra low gear. I put the truck in granny low and started pulling. The truck never hesitated a bit and when I decided to see what progress I had made, I had the fence stretched so tight I could play tunes on it.
