I appreciate your input. I don’t think this is a hill I want to die on, so I think that I’ll just step out the next time this happens. Without a solid argument that explains the probability of this happening and why it is more harmful to fill up with it running to his car than the harm of having several small trips, he’d disregard my advice as being the overly cautious girl I am. He’s a very logical person with regards to statistics, if there’s a 1 in a million chance of it exploding but a 1 in 10,000 chance of his car being damaged from turning it off and on all the time, he’ll pick the one with the higher probability of actually occurring.
I believe that letting the engine run while fillling up imposes an unnecessary albiet small risk on yourself and everyone around you. It is because it imposes that risk on others that I feel doing so is irresponsible and inconsiderate. Granted, with the (not total) disappearance of secondary ignition wiring arcing to ground, and with modern vapor recovery systems, the risk is far less than it was 40 years ago, but it’s still inconsideratre to those around you to expose them to it.
It’s a very small risk, but of a very big disaster.
@cilevans1989 - you do what you think is appropriate. However, I think your confusing a ‘very logical man’ with what he is: a very self-centered man. He seems to find reasons/excuses to justify what he wants to do, regardless of the impact on others. Your example is a good one: comparing the odds of a major disaster (and there are pump fires all the time, some of which have probably been caused by running engines) to a minor engine repair (which actually I’ve never heard of being caused by stopping to fill up) is, well, NUTS. Sorry.
Most gas stations have a sign posted “Turn off engine while filling”. This might not be the law but is a good idea. BTW I think now would be a good time to look elsewhere for a boyfriend. He seems to have other problems.
If he got several speeding tickets, I bet his car insurance has more than doubled!
The big warning sign as a bf, is the way he went off on you when asked about his reasons for picking this car.
@EllisEllis I teach courses in marketing and consumer behavior. The boyfriend falls in a category called “Disinterested Self-indulgent”. Those people are actually sought after by some companies that sell upscale stuff and gear their advertising to stroke their egos. They are high profit customers most of the time. They prefer premium brand whiskeys while foregoing things like vitamins and other basic necessities. They don’t care about rules that don’t suite them; that’s for others. Filing taxes on time and other such boring things are anathema to them.
My wife has several friends who are married to and SUPPORTING such dysfunctional spouses. @Civilian1989, you may end up supporting such a self -centered egotist.
Not to argue, and I always shut my car and cell phone off, but I still don’t think I’ve heard actual compelling information on what exactly would cause a fire or explosion. Gas fumes sink to the ground and outside, I’m just trying to understand how fumes could make their way up to the sparks in an electric fan, spark plugs etc. If that were the case, the fumes are there when you crank that electric starter up and drive away. Like I said I’ve been asking since I was a kid and no one really has provided a good undisputable answer.
As far as just obeying signs because they are there, out of my generation came the song “signs, signs, everywhere a sign, do this don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?” I guess we’re just rebelious enough to not care about the sign but want to know WHY. After all we ended the war, the draft, started VISTA, the war on poverty, and made long hair acceptable. We’re not going to just blindly follow the sign.
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“…and there are pump fires all the time, some of which have probably been caused by running engines” --citation needed*
Docnick, you sound like you ar describing his friends (at the very minimum). Maybe you’re right. 
I’ve never heard anything about cell phones and filling up gas before. I guess I’m doing dangerous things also. (But then again, there isn’t a good reason to turn off your phone in an airplane. We’ve been lied to!)
The cellphone thing is a myth - what happened is that folks would get gas while talking on the cell, go back in the car to stay warm, come back out (which on certain cars/seat materials can generate a lot of static electric charge), then touch the pump handle: spark/fire, with the cell phone (rather than sitting in the car) blamed.
The sign says “turn off your car”. It is their pump so their rules. Simple.
… and tell him to stop taking you to fast food dives, especially this early in a relationship. Believe me: once you have kids, that’s all that you’ll see when you are ‘dining out’.
If a parent stopped for a fill up when the heat index was 100+, with children properly belted into their seats and the other parent remaining in the vehicle with them left the engine running to operate the AC I would understand their doing so and certainly wouldn’t feel concerned about a catastrophe. I would certainly hope that the parking brake was firmly set and would assume that the vehicle was in park. There are many sources for a spark that could ignite gasoline fumes while filling up, and a running engine is one of the more significant ones, but while one car is filling up other cars are arriving and leaving. What about them? But like others, I have stereotyped the subject of this discussion as a self centered person who values his status above the safety of others. And I/we could be wrong. But then again, we could be right.
Ok heres what Id do. Have some keys sticking out of you pocket and “accidentally” Puncture the leather seat, Make sure he knows you did it. Then see what his reaction is, I would have pepper spray or a firearm on standby depending what the laws are in you jurisdiction.
I am not saying your boyfriend is a wife beater or an alcoholic, but dont enter an abusive relationship… Please be careful, reading your posts here tells us your smart, and if your easy on the eyes you can pick any guy you want. Don’t settle if the car is more important than you. tell him it makes you uncomfortable, he can shut the car off… Geese… Take care of the lady people…
I knew a guy like that acted in similar ways this years ago and he was a wife beater type and alcoholic. He had an 84 vette with cross fire injection and he though he was king. Well one night him and the missus were boozing it up and on the way home from the bar she accidentally damaged the seat with her keys. He went crazy and beat her up in the front yard of his trailer. ( he had a 40k pickup and the crappy vette and lived in a trailer, priorities…)
Its all fun and games until the sheriff has to come to your trailer and take away your guns and booze as his girlfriend found out the hard way.
Um she’s military, got to be trained in hand to hand combat and weapons qualified. I think she can take care of herself but he may be a jerk. I’d be really ticked off though if someone punched a hole through my leather seat. You can’t just patch leather or sew it up-the whole panel has to be matched and replaced. Sheesh.
Have people become so complacent that they just blindly follow what the sign says? “. . .and the sign says long haired hippie types need not apply . . .” I’m disappointed. Have some backbone, rebel, ask for proof, evidence. Just because some goof ball legislator gets a law passed or some over-zealeous beauraucrat gets rules passed, doesn’t mean it makes sense or should be blindly followed. Make them prove their case. Been there, and a lot of these people you would not want in your house let alone telling you what to do.
“I’d be really ticked off though if someone punched a hole through my leather seat. You can’t just patch leather or sew it up-the whole panel has to be matched and replaced.”
I agree with Bing on that point.
Vandalizing somebody’s car in order to assess their reaction is…not a good idea.
And, I have to wonder what Rick was talking about in regard to geese taking care of women.
In my area, all the geese do is waddle around and foul the ground with their droppings.
Rick–Do the geese in your neck of the woods actually take care of women?
If so, I am very impressed with whoever trained those birds.
Like the aflac duck, some geese can take car of women better than us humans can.
I do live in southern indiana…LOl… Jeese…
Ok maybe its not smart to poke a hole in the seat. But you would have to agree, it would tell the true tale about who he feels more about, the car or her…
Btw,… The guy that did that after the lady damaged his seat, he wasn’t a friend or anything like that, he was just a local yokel that everyone knew of, and not many liked. The tales of that idiot never ended, he used to leave a bar in a small town here in the county and get the POS vette airborne going over a set of railroad tracks. At least thats the story. He is still around, he actually did time in the slammer for Dui’s and assault convictions. Hes a mean guy, most people figure its best to avoid him.
“he actually did time in the slammer for Dui’s and assault convictions. Hes a mean guy, most people figure its best to avoid him.”
But, some genius thought that it would be a good idea to vandalize his car in order to assess his reaction?
And then–surprise, surprise–she wound up getting beaten by a person who had already been convicted for assault?
I have to wonder which person was more stupid in that scenario.
No, she accidentally put a tear in the seat, it wasn’t planned. She probably drunkenly put her keys on the seat then sat on them, On the wild ride home one of the keys punctures the seat. It was an honest mistake. The story is that he spotted the keys on the seat when she got out and spotted the tear and went crackers and crayons crazy.
He got convicted of assault later on down the road when he got stopped by the state police, they tried to arrest him, and he assaulted the trooper.
The ironic thing was the 'vette wasn’t in the greatest shape anyway, it was rode hard and put away wet. So why he fixated on the tear in the seat was beyond me. He managed to put enough scratches on it himself I am not sure why the seat mattered.
We also must mention afterwards she actually dated him on and off until he went to jail, it seemed the endless supply of booze and coke was too strong for her to resist. While it was horrible what he did to her, she wasn’t exactly looking for ward cleaver. She knew his reputation before she started seeing him,
This incident was the talk of the town for a while. This happened in 97. It still comes up from time to time. The ’ Vette is still around, The guy sold it one of the times he came back from jail, someone drove it for a while and it quit running. It sits way out in the country, in the weeds, off the side of a driveway, and hasn’t been on the road in 13 years. It will probably sit forever.
A better assessment of how he will behave and if he’s a keeper is to do one or more of the following:
-Take him to a chick flick with one of your more chatty friends. Bonus points for making him watch one on TV with you when a sporting event/movie he really likes is on. Using a DVR is cheating.
-Take him shoe/purse/dress/bra shopping
-Take him to a craft store and make him look at all the cutesy trinkets
-Force him to go to dinner with you and your elderly relatives at a crappy buffet restaurant, a polka party, or someplace with big-band music.
-Force him to help you organize your closets
If he passes most or all of these tests (which are anathema for most guys) with only a few required flippant comments, you know he’s in it for the long haul, and that he really cares about you. Do not abuse your powers.
@oblivion, sure it might be my second wife, but chick flick out, shopping out, cutesy trinkets out, family thing always, organize her closets out. Wifey is not that cruel!