Electrical Short 2004 Ford Taurus

Car’s been running fine until today when it rained.
When i turn the ignition, there’s a taktaktaktak seeming to come from the dash. When I turn the ignition to ON or ACC, i can use the inside lights and radio.
It isn’t until I try the brake, windshield wiper, or door lock that it pops, everything turns off and the sound happens until i remove the key (and a little after)
I assume that this is a short somewhere but have no idea where to start. The battery wiring harness is my only thought but afterwards… bleh

You seem to have a bad connection to power rather than a short problem. The first thing to do is remove the battery connections and clean them using a battery post clean brush. If that doesn’t help then get at least a light probe to check power with. Verify that power is getting to the all the fuses under the hood while the problem is happening. If that is okay then check the ignition power fuse in the dash fuse panel. If you have low power there then check the power from the ignition switch.

I was able to upload a video here