Well just to update I made it safely to the desert.
When I took off the drum to get it turned I saw what was rubbing:
The repetitive clicking sound was the metal tab rubbing against the inscription on the inside of the drum.
Fortunately the Oriellys I went to was across the street from an Autozone. I furiously marched over there to demand a non defective part. They were happy to oblige.
After replacing the part with new shoes, the problem persisted. I took it apart once more to try and diagnose. I noticed the back shoe floating a mm or so. Leaving through the manual pdf on my phone, I realized the emergency brake cable, coiled in spring, was in front of a metal tab instead of behind. This was enough to lift the shoe against the drum.
Here’s the takeaway:
Original problem: bleed bleed bleed those brakes. However the manual says.
Concurrent problem: Look at the manual! Carefully examine a diagram of how things go together.
Thanks for the support and anecdotes.