“The problem is, I live in NJ and we’re not allowed to pump our own fuel.”
That situation is a problem only if you allow it to be a problem.
I also live in NJ, and I almost always am able to take charge of the situation. It just requires the right attitude, plus a refusal to be intimidated by the attendants.
I do this for two reasons:
The previously-stated reason of not wanting the tank overfilled.
Not wanting the attendant to drop the gas cap (on its tether) onto the fender, thereby scratching the paint.
Here is my routine:
Before entering the gas station, I release the gas-filler door.
As soon as I stop the car, I get out, remove the gas cap, and hang it from the hook that the mfr provided for that purpose in order to keep it away from the fender.
When the attendant approaches, I hand him my credit card, and tell him to “fill it regular”.
I stand next to the car, and as soon as the pump clicks “off”, I remove the nozzle and put it back in the pump, while waiting for the receipt to print.
If the attendant is actually present when the pump clicks “off”, I simply say, “That’s enough. No more”, or if he is Hispanic, I say, “Bastante, no mas”.
I have NEVER had an attendant react badly to my “take charge” approach, and–in fact–most of them thank me for finishing the process and not making them walk back to my car.
So…stop being a wimp.
It is your car, and you have a right to prevent someone else from damaging either its fuel system or its paint.
Or…you can just sit passively in your car, and allow the attendant to do whatever he wants to do.
Trust me–Nobody has ever been arrested in NJ for taking charge of the fuel-filling process.