VW Passat Won't Start (again). New Battery installed. Attached audio file of the sound it makes!

As Meehan stated, from afar all that anyone can guess is that you have either a fuel delivery problem or a spark delivery problem. Clearly, the engine IS turning over, so please don’t lead a mechanic down a blind alley by telling him that the engine won’t turn over.

Whether the fuel pump failed, or whether a problem in the ignition system is to blame for the no-start situation, you are going to need to have the car towed to a competent mechanic. In addition to avoiding quick oil change shops, you should also avoid chains like Midas, Meineke, Monro, Sears, Pep Boys, AAMCO, etc.

Phone a well-reputed independent mechanic’s shop, and tell them that the engine turns over, but it does not “fire up”. Once he gets it into his shop, a good mechanic should be able to trouble-shoot this problem within an hour or so.