I already explained how to verify the circuit operation at pin 85 of the relay in a previous post. From what you stated earlier about the voltage going to near zero volts at the PCM AND ALSO at PIN 85 indicates that the circuit is working correctly, if what you say is true.
If you measure battery voltage between pin 86 and 85 with the key in start, that part is working. If you can see that relay (in the pdc), you may also be able to hear or feel it click.