Felt Sorry for Car Saleman


Yeah well. irregardless, I just checked my VIN number for accuracy and checked to see if the hot water heater is still working. All is well.


HAHA, I checked internet, sorry @bing your hot water heater refuses to heat hot water, your vacuum cleaner refuses to clean a vacuum, the sun has decided to stay in the same place so a sunrise is your imagination, and you may not park in a parkway or drive in a driveway, so you are like totally out of touch with reality, but still could do golf if you are interested.


Thanks for the chuckle. Years ago my much older brother and I were preparing breakfast for our elderly parents. He asked if I could put some toast in the toaster? I couldn’t help myself and replied. “Why would I put toast in the toaster”? He answered. “To toast it of course”. I replied. “I suppose you have a hot water heater at your house”. He answered. “Of course I have a hot water heater at my house”! “You’ve seen it”! Clueless…


Those are the same people who use “ATM machines”–literally Automatic Teller Machine Machines–and they enter their “PIN number”–literally Personal Identification Number Number.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.


One of my favorite redundancies is “very unique.” Well “very” means exceedingly, and since “unique” means “the only one,” then how exactly does one exceed “one-of-a-kind” to become even more one-of-a-kind?


Exact same…


Consensus of opinion…




I guess I’ve been revisiting 1967 a lot lately but irregardless, that Morris Minor of mine was a pile of junk even though it was the exact same car used by millions in England except for the right hand drive. At any rate it was the consensus of the family opinion that I should sell it for what I had in it so that I could recirculate my money into something more useful like tuition. I told the guy I sold it too it was a very unique car but after he had it for a while he chased me around the kitchen at work threatening to put my head in the toaster. I dunno, my wife was an English teacher and on Sunday the pastor called her out to verify his use of sentence structure. She hasn’t forgotten a thing since retirement, so don’t show her this.


And the Natural Guard.


British Leland cars were so bad that it was common practice to do a top end job on them at 5000 miles so that the valves didn’t burn. Is that horrible or what?!


Perhaps, but did you ever drive one? :grinning:


Actually, they were even worse than that defect would imply! I knew someone who bought a new Morris Marina in 1976, and within a couple of months, the crankshaft snapped!

The crankshaft was replaced under warranty, but the replacement crankshaft also snapped within a few months! To the multi-line dealership’s credit, at that point they offered my friend a very good trade-in value for his almost-new Marina, and he chose… a new Plymouth Volare! Yes, this guy had a history of selecting cars that were… not the pinnacle of automotive excellence…

While the Volare never suffered catastrophic mechanical breakdowns like the Marina did, he narrowly escaped being in accidents two or three times as a result of the Volare’s habit of stalling on the entrance ramp to an Interstate highway. When the front fenders of the Volare started to collapse into themselves as a result of rust, he dumped that loser vehicle–after just 3 years of ownership.

Edited to add:
That “Marina” was actually badged as an Austin. It was the same crap car that was sold as the Morris Marina in The UK, but the ones shipped across the pond bore the Austin name.


Gosh I HATE car salesman! 99% are snakes and scumbags! Right up there with lawyers!! They take advantage of people, pull all of there little stunts(as you pointed out) and want to give you penny’s on the dollar for your trade! I really don’t know how they sleep at night the way they do people!


It must have been a Austin America. A horrible example of an automobile.


I’m confused. For years on this forum that has been the description of auto mechanics. Now it is car salesmen.


Yep nothing like stereotyping whole occupations. Ya gotta remember there is both a sender and receiver in any dealings and sometimes expectations yield behavior which yields the expected behavior like a self-fulfilling prophesy. Yeah we dislike doctors, car salesfolks, mechanics, lawyers, until we find ourselves needing one late at night. Then we become believers. Anyone else send thank you notes for services provided?


The Kenny P Has railed about vehicle mechanics in the past and now 99 % of car sales personnel. I don’t think he fully understands the way either professions actually operate.


I had an Austin America when I was in college. It had a couple of burned valves by 7500 miles. The heads were warped, and that is why the Brits did I the top end job at 5000 miles. They gave it a little time to warp, then shaved the head. In my case, the valves were so messed up that I bought a head at a pick and pull yard then had a top end job done. Shaved and new valves on all four cylinders. One of my roomies in college enjoyed telling stories about the car at parties. A Brit was at one party and told him about the standard top end job at 5000 miles. The car had a lot of shortcomings, but when it was running, it was fun! It was low with the wheels at the corners; handling was terrific. FWD was new at the time, and no one but me understood that it was OK for the back end to break loose. I scared a lot of friends dragging a loose rear through a turn as they bounced from one side of the car to the other in the back seat. A total hoot.


I am quite familiar with the awful Austin America, which was also sold in The UK under at least one other name. However, I was referring to the Austin Marina, which was a totally different bad English vehicle.

The Austin America was a boxy FWD sedan with a liquid suspension. The Austin Marina was a somewhat curvy RWD sedan with a very conventional suspension. Totally different cars with different engines, drivetrains, and suspensions, but equally bad.

The photos and the accompanying text should help you to see the differences between the FWD Austin America, and the totally different RWD Austin Marina:

Please take a look at:


The two door Marina was actually a fairly decent-looking car. Too bad that it was a mechanical disaster.