Plates we will keep up, but at this point there is no insurance on the car and hasn’t been since earlier in the year.
Here in Oklahoma you can’t renew registration without proof of insurance.
^
That is also true in NJ.
If Indiana requires motorists to have insurance, it would be…let’s just say…counterproductive if the state allows registration renewals without proof of insurance.
How could it ever get sold without insurance? Then picture someone taking a joy ride and a police pursuit and someone gets killed or crippled in the process. Do you really think they aren’t coming after your Dad, you, and your family? Even if you win, the lawyers fees will cost tens of thousands. Put insurance on it so at least you have free legal support.
Geez, I pay $100 every 6 months for my car that just sits and that includes collision, liability, comp., and even towing. Penny wise pound foolish. There are too many ways the have nots get what the haves have today to risk it.
Taking away his keys brings up the next subject matter…probably bigger that I can opine on here.
As dad begins to sit for awhile pondering his future, Find him some reading material that helps seniors see thier next chapter of life without feeling they’re just wasting time till they die.
AARP should have contacts for such material.
My dad is now 86 and has successfully made several ‘‘new chapter’’ changes in his life.
Soon after retirement, with big plans for traveling and visiting, mom had a stroke that slammed a rude awakening ‘‘NEW CHAPTER’’ upon them. Dealing with this was something none of us had ever planned on or even set mind to as to what we might need to do.
a few years after the stroke she passed away…’‘NEW CHAPTER’'
Dad remarried…mom’s younger sister ( who had MS but dad knew and accepted this all her years)…easier for a senior than dating anew…and THIS is when they realized the advantage of downsizing…selling off the collection that most old folks have accumulated over the years.
They had…EIGHT…garage sales to get downsized to the point of moving to Eden Home in New Braunfels TX…a retirement community that has apartments OR nursing home, as needed…NEW CHAPTER.
Ten years later aunt Ruth passed…NEW CHAPTER.
He’s still at the assisted living appartment and has not missed any of the ‘‘saved’’ stuff they got rid of and is highly active in all the programs and activities they offer. As a high functioning 86 year old ( no canes or walkers ) he helps the others with mobility issues and this gives him great pleasure having these tasks to fill his days.
Yes, a major new chapter is very scary. But try your best to find dad the resouces to help him accept and engage in this …new chapter.
Any stash of photos among the piles? Have him write on the back (if able) or dictate to a young family member the who/what:when/where.
My BIL just bought his dad a golf cart to drive around town with and sold the car. He’s happy he has mobility yet and can get downtown for cards and meals and visiting without being a hazard to others. Still refuses a cell phone though.
@“ken green” … your story about your dad & his new chapters is very good. Thanks for sharing. In my opinion older folks who opt for the retirement community lifestyle enjoy better and longer lives than those who insist to stay in their own homes. Retirement communities are like going back to the college dorms, only much bigger quarters and better facilities, and who didn’t enjoy college dorm life?
A while ago I was responsible to clean up the home of an elderly retired couple who had recently passed away. I tried the garage sale route and quickly determined if I did it that way, it would take 10 years of garage sales, maybe longer. The only option was to give the better stuff away, and haul the rest to the town dump. And by “haul”, I mean I rented one of those big dumpsters, that would fit on the back of a truck. Then I rented another. And another. And another. Yes, it took four of them to get rid of all the remaining stuff. When going through this process, I wished that couple had got all that stuff out of their lives before, as it wasn’t contributing anything, and only making their lives more difficult.
Outside of being a hoarder (I am married to a mid-level hoarder) I can see why a man does not want to sell his car. Even at 97 years old, I doubt he fully realizes his next CHAPTER is six feet under. A vague knowledge he will die, but no idea when. Wakes up in the morning and goes to sleep at night.
So, selling that last car means he will never drive again, and that is a bit tough to chew.
I am only 73, lived in Midwest until I retired in 1997. I have driven around 350,000 miles since then. A year or two ago, I went back to our original town for a visit, and told them I do not plan to come back. I could. I am in good health and can drive.
But, after 350,000 miles, I am bored sick of driving long trips.
Two days to the border, two days back if I don’t go anywhere. Then, 2 or 3 days to the Midwest, or 2 or 3 days to Florida where family lives, then the same time back to the border on the North side.
I used to make the 1500 mile trips 2 days each way from McAllen, but 12 hour days are just so boring, I just can’t do it any more. So, ten days of my life just driving, just to visit family who probably don’t really care anyway? No, thanks.
Added to the shock of being back in the USA, and being treated with dis-respect? No, thanks. Daily life here in Mexico is simply too good!
Still, it was a scary thought when I told my brother I did not expect to ever come back again. Ever is a long time. I felt the same way the day I retired. To know that after years of going to work every day, I would probably never, ever go to work again was a bit scary to think about.
Yet, if there is motivation. In 1994 and 95, a young partly disabled Mexican girl lived with us for the two years to go to the Community College. She is a real sweetie and is one of the few people in the USA who seems to actually care if I live or die. She says she and her family expect to come visit us in 2016 where we live in Mexico. If she does, that will probably motivate me to drive to the Midwest to visit her in the future. The full ten day trip, and spend a week or two there.
Do what your dad wants. The is worthless to sell but means the world to him.
Yep, I never would have sold my dad’s car while he was still alive and stored it instead. He just asked where it was and I told him and that it was being cared for. I expect the same respect.
“Do what your dad wants”
In case the other forum members don’t have a memory as good as mine, I want to remind everyone that the OP’s father saw nothing wrong with driving around with duct tape wrapped around his leaking brake hydraulic lines.
That was a couple of years ago. We all pleaded with the OP to do something before his father killed somebody, but the OP told us that there was nothing that he could do.
In light of that reality, does anyone realistically think that this old man is more rational now–at an even more advanced age–than he was a couple of years ago? I believe that he is a prime example of somebody who is unable to make rational decisions, and “doing what he wants”–especially in regard to a motor vehicle–is not in anyone’s best interests.
Financially, this is a non-issue. However, if the car sits outside in front of the house deteriorating, it might become an eyesore and the neighbors will have some say in the matter.
I agree with other posters that at such an advanced age, the most you can do is keep the individual happy.
Some years ago friends of ours had to empty a large home where one of the parents lived for over 40 years. In addition to much valuable furniture (he was a furniture dealer) and a large garage sale, as well as Sally Ann donations, they had to take 3 trucks of the remaining stuff to the dump. Cars are normally easy to dispose of.
Because this is financially a non-issue, I believe doing anything to keep your father happy is all that’s important.
Dad is sharp as a tack on some things, not so much on others. His reaction time is slower then mud and he can be forgetful on where he is and how to get home, that is why we took away his car. Well took away his ability to drive. He complains all the time to anyone who will listen, but doesn’t drive anymore, he just sits in his house each day looking out the window and watches time pass by.
Here is why he needs activities
’‘best things to do for a DAD sitting.’'
Clubs and organizations for seniors is a great place to start…depending on your city’s resources…( you’re probably already looking into these ) Our local senior center has a bus to pick up participants.
Volunteering at events and clubs for kids is good for the soul as well. Clubs with kids like Boys And Girls Club and Special Olympics really make a senior feel valued.
An old friend of my dad’s has a newspaper route, works in the hospital gift shop , and goes to the senior center…she’s never home…always busy.
At 97, soon to be 98 he gets tired just walking around the house, outside activities really are not much of an option. All his friends have passed away or are in senior homes. Dad would rather sit in house and do nothing but work on his “get rich quick” scheme then move into a senior center where programs and such would be offered. I take him out for drives once or twice a month and a meal, but besides that he is home alone and car less.