# A moral dilemma **URL:** \ **Category:** General Discussion\ **Created:** [April 11, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004 "2016-04-11T20:13:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ok4450](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ok4450](https://community.cartalk.com/u/ok4450)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/21 "2016-04-12T18:16:07Z")
I would kind of hate to think that the OP bought a 13 year old truck used as a snow plow and is balking (sour grapes…) at the bumper situation due to the mechanical issues which have cropped up and cost them money out of pocket. The promise was made to remove the bumper when the buyer got home. It’s now been a couple of months and if I were the seller I would be a bit “anxious” also. The OP may not like me for saying this but it takes a lot of gall to wonder whether they should tell the seller to kick rocks or pay for the entire bumper removal including the cost of a new replacement bumper. The correct answer is neither of the above. ---
**Author:** ![VDCdriver](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/vdcdriver/32/48514_2.png) [@VDCdriver](https://community.cartalk.com/u/VDCdriver)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/22 "2016-04-12T18:28:12Z")
How much the OP **paid** for the vehicle is not the issue, nor is how much any recent repairs may have **cost** him. Instead, one issue is the fact that the OP failed to exercise normal due diligence regarding this truck, prior to purchase. Another issue–IMHO–is whether the OP is a decent human being–or not. Only somebody who is very naïve would purchase an old vehicle without having it inspected prior to purchasing it, and only somebody whose moral compass is defective would even THINK of failing to deliver his end of the bargain to which he agreed. (There is no charge for the spelling & grammar lesson…) ---
**Author:** ![common-sense-answer](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/common-sense-answer/32/716_2.png) [@common-sense-answer](https://community.cartalk.com/u/common-sense-answer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 7:18pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/23 "2016-04-12T19:18:26Z")
**I Thought This Was A Clue That The Vehicle Could Have Issues And Would Certainly Require A Careful Inspection:** **_“We have a ‘for parts’ sales agreement which he wanted that on the sale agreement instead of ‘as is’ …”_** None of my vehicle purchases have been stated as being “as is” (although it is implied), but I would really hesitate on a “for parts” vehicle that I was purchasing as a road use vehicle or a daily driver. _ **CSA** _ ---
**Author:** ![the\_same\_mountainbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@the\_same\_mountainbike](https://community.cartalk.com/u/the_same_mountainbike)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 7:30pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/24 "2016-04-12T19:30:28Z")
In NH all used car purchases are by law “as-is” unless otherwise stated in writing or fraud can be proven. It prevents clogging of the courts by junk lawsuits by purchasers that discover they made a mistake. To the OP: you made a deal and shook a man’s hand on it. If you don’t consider that binding, than you need to take a serious look at your trustworthiness and your personal values. ---
**Author:** ![shadowfax](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/shadowfax/32/13026_2.png) [@shadowfax](https://community.cartalk.com/u/shadowfax)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/25 "2016-04-12T20:16:53Z")
You said you’d do it. So do it. ---
**Author:** ![Marnet](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/marnet/32/41_2.png) [@Marnet](https://community.cartalk.com/u/Marnet)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/26 "2016-04-12T21:12:57Z")
What dilemna? You gave your word. Moral people keep their word. ---
**Author:** ![the\_same\_mountainbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@the\_same\_mountainbike](https://community.cartalk.com/u/the_same_mountainbike)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/27 "2016-04-12T21:51:13Z")
Something tells me that the OP, Calvin S, didn’t like what he was reading and is no longer reading the responses. 😄 ---
**Author:** ![texases](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/texases/32/862_2.png) [@texases](https://community.cartalk.com/u/texases)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 6:37am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/28 "2016-04-13T06:37:42Z")
I see room to go back and discuss this with the seller. If giving him the bumper is a major difficulty then maybe he’ll help out. It is an extraordinary request. ---
**Author:** ![PvtPublic](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/pvtpublic/32/13089_2.png) [@PvtPublic](https://community.cartalk.com/u/PvtPublic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 10:16pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/29 "2016-04-13T22:16:28Z")
The only “Moral Dilemma” that I see, is that the OP even considers this a “Moral Dilemma”. Do as you promised and give the bumper back ! ---
**Author:** ![Barkydog](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/barkydog/32/2470_2.png) [@Barkydog](https://community.cartalk.com/u/Barkydog)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:59am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/30 "2016-04-14T02:59:48Z")
“As for the agreement, no paperwork stating so but a handshake” There is no honor in that approach, what goes around comes around, I have lived my life living up to whatI agree to, now reverse the situation, and consider what you might think of someone verbally agreeing to something for you and falling through, sure there is no legal issue, but if you want this pittance to haunt you for the rest of your life for being a skag liar you have my regrets. From the internet skag " person who is unkempt or unkind" ---
**Author:** ![the\_same\_mountainbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@the\_same\_mountainbike](https://community.cartalk.com/u/the_same_mountainbike)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/31 "2016-04-14T03:31:45Z")
This country was built on handshakes. According to one source I read, only 74% of the people could read or write as late as 1900. Deals were made on a handshake. Honor demands that once you shake on a deal, it’s binding. In the neighborhood I grew up in your word was your bond. In my family, it still is. I think pvtpublic hit the nail on the head. The only moral dilemma here is that you’re even considering this a moral dilemma. If you made a bad deal, take what you’ve learned from it to your next deal… but do what you promised, even if it turns out inconvenient… or even difficult. Your word should be your bond. Period. No whining. ---
**Author:** ![shanonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@shanonia](https://community.cartalk.com/u/shanonia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/32 "2016-04-14T04:19:12Z")
The dilemma is in your mind, not between you and the person you agreed with. Do you or do you not carry out an agreement that you made voluntarily, and in which the other person is innocent of any wrongdoing? ---
**Author:** ![ok4450](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ok4450](https://community.cartalk.com/u/ok4450)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 4:44am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/33 "2016-04-14T04:44:13Z")
I have to admit that I will be very surprised if the OP returns with hat in hand after seeing the light. What this comes across to me as is someone who bought a whaled on truck without looking it over or thinking things through. The OP was then faced with paying for repairs out of pocket (a 13 year old snowplow; go figure…) and is trying to use that for justification not only for holding back on returning the bumper but bringing up having a new one installed at seller expense. If I’m wrong; I apologize. If not… ---
**Author:** ![Barkydog](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/barkydog/32/2470_2.png) [@Barkydog](https://community.cartalk.com/u/Barkydog)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 5:01am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/34 "2016-04-14T05:01:49Z")
ok on board with your comment, now that the op is gone probably, do you do handshake deals? I did one recently for a side by side Victorian secretary, I said here it is, put it on the porch for the buyer to see. Moving is up to you. Got the cash and stupid kid he had to help move it tried carrying it by the spindles on the top, they broke, he was like wtf, and I said I sold it to you in good condition, you bought it you own it, whatever happens after that is not my issue. ---
**Author:** ![steveng](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@steveng](https://community.cartalk.com/u/steveng)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 5:04am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/35 "2016-04-14T05:04:52Z")
Be a man of your word and do the right thing and don’t forget about karma! ---
**Author:** ![oldtimer-11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e79b87/32.png) [@oldtimer-11](https://community.cartalk.com/u/oldtimer-11)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:11am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/36 "2016-04-14T07:11:23Z")
Why would you have to ask someone else if you should keep your word. The fact that you are asking means you are not going to. You are just trying to gather support so you won’t feel like so much of a dirt bag. ---
**Author:** ![bing](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/bing/32/4619_2.png) [@bing](https://community.cartalk.com/u/bing)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:36am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/37 "2016-04-14T08:36:15Z")
Yeah depends where you live. I told the story before but out along the MN/SD border we were building a cabin (200 miles away) and working with the local lumber yard manager as the general contractor. We had done a model for the carpenters to get an idea what we wanted and I was working on the blue prints but hadn’t finished them yet. Nothing had been signed and no price was agreed to yet but we got a call from the wife’s cousin in the area and he said you ought to see how far along they are with the cabin. The weather was good and to beat the winter the guys just started building it the way they thought we wanted it from the model. There was never a problem with any of it, design, money, workmanship, nothing. And we hadn’t even really shaken hands let alone a contract. Nobody screwed anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Marnet](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/cartalk/user_avatar/community.cartalk.com/marnet/32/41_2.png) [@Marnet](https://community.cartalk.com/u/Marnet)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 9:27am UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/38 "2016-04-14T09:27:50Z")
@Bing. A few months ago I started with replacing a structurally failed deck and structurally compromised roof. Those had written contracts. By the time work progressed to the house interior the contractor and I trusted each other enough to do the rest of the job on verbal agreement. There were instances of negotiation throughout the project but never any major disputes. I have been blessed to work with an honest man who honors his word and I have been careful to honor mine. ---
**Author:** ![the\_same\_mountainbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@the\_same\_mountainbike](https://community.cartalk.com/u/the_same_mountainbike)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 6:44pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/39 "2016-04-14T18:44:35Z")
The OP is long gone. I’m certain of it. ---
**Author:** ![TwinTurbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@TwinTurbo](https://community.cartalk.com/u/TwinTurbo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 11:21pm UTC](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004/40 "2016-04-14T23:21:13Z")
Here’s something else my Dad taught us- There’s one thing no one can take from you- and that’s your honor. That you have to choose to give up on your own. A handshake is the ultimate contract… [Previous page](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004.md?page=1) [Next page](https://community.cartalk.com/t/a-moral-dilemma/93004.md?page=3)